[ there are dozens of answers that hawk could give him on the wide, sliding scale of bullshit and reality. he's not sure which he expects, not here with them sitting near one another in professor fuller's bedroom. it's a place he'd never imagined he'd be, anyway. he'd always thought back to their first meeting in december and he'd known that had he been someone else, they would have gone to some distant hotel and spent the night there.
instead, he's now spent the night in the man's bed, dressing his clothes, eating his food and obeying his orders. in another life, all of this might be different. is this what it is like to be cared about? to be intimately known even though their bodies have not crossed that line often enough for it to count? how is it that they are able to stand toe-to-toe like this, soaking in the warmth of the other and dancing around one another and have it come to nothing?
it's better this way, surely.
but something deep in tim's chest aches. in another life, a version of himself must be watching and mourning the loss for whatever this could have been.
he takes another bite of banana, half expecting hawk to put off his question and deflect instead to some kind of caretaking comment. he pauses, however, when hawk speaks. color rises hot into his cheeks, brushing at the tips of his ears again.
there's something in the look on the man's face and the tone of his voice in that you're gonna be just fine that takes him by surprise. he wants to memorize it much in the same way he has stamped the low sound of hawk's good boy into his mind. ]
Thank you.
[ soft, sheepish, and he keeps his eyes turned to the plate where the crackers still sit untouched and the half eaten banana. ]
For everything. Really.
[ how can he even possibly thank this man for what he's done today and for all the times before? hawkins fuller has everything he wants - can buy anything he desires - and to find a way to show his gratitude seems more impossible now than ever.
but, in the tone of all things leading up to this, professor fuller gives him a directive and he huffs softly. ]
Banana and rest. Got it. Yes, sir.
[ he smiles a little an takes the last bite of the banana, leaving the peel on the plate. he sets the plate on the bedside table and with little preamble allows himself to fall back into the bed on a sigh. he's exhausted, and the fact that he's given permission to stay and rest is yet another thing to add to the list of many items for which he owes the man thanks.
he brings the blankets high up under his chin after he deposits his glasses beside the plate, but in the dim light he looks up at the man in the chair beside his bed. he doesn't care if he sees him, doesn't mind if he can tell he's cataloguing this moment - the tired lines of the man's face, the sleepy mussed wave of his hair, the fond eyes, the tight lips that belie so much more.
he almost says something - mouth opening for a moment before he closes it again, hums in thought and shakes his head. ]
Thanks. I mean it.
[ his voice carries the low, tired note of someone just at the brink of sleeping. and when next hawk looks up he'll see just that - tim laughlin with his eyes closed, breathing evened out, lips faintly parted. unaware of the world around him all at once, and finally looking at peace as he rests. ]
no subject
instead, he's now spent the night in the man's bed, dressing his clothes, eating his food and obeying his orders. in another life, all of this might be different. is this what it is like to be cared about? to be intimately known even though their bodies have not crossed that line often enough for it to count? how is it that they are able to stand toe-to-toe like this, soaking in the warmth of the other and dancing around one another and have it come to nothing?
it's better this way, surely.
but something deep in tim's chest aches. in another life, a version of himself must be watching and mourning the loss for whatever this could have been.
he takes another bite of banana, half expecting hawk to put off his question and deflect instead to some kind of caretaking comment. he pauses, however, when hawk speaks. color rises hot into his cheeks, brushing at the tips of his ears again.
there's something in the look on the man's face and the tone of his voice in that you're gonna be just fine that takes him by surprise. he wants to memorize it much in the same way he has stamped the low sound of hawk's good boy into his mind. ]
Thank you.
[ soft, sheepish, and he keeps his eyes turned to the plate where the crackers still sit untouched and the half eaten banana. ]
For everything. Really.
[ how can he even possibly thank this man for what he's done today and for all the times before? hawkins fuller has everything he wants - can buy anything he desires - and to find a way to show his gratitude seems more impossible now than ever.
but, in the tone of all things leading up to this, professor fuller gives him a directive and he huffs softly. ]
Banana and rest. Got it. Yes, sir.
[ he smiles a little an takes the last bite of the banana, leaving the peel on the plate. he sets the plate on the bedside table and with little preamble allows himself to fall back into the bed on a sigh. he's exhausted, and the fact that he's given permission to stay and rest is yet another thing to add to the list of many items for which he owes the man thanks.
he brings the blankets high up under his chin after he deposits his glasses beside the plate, but in the dim light he looks up at the man in the chair beside his bed. he doesn't care if he sees him, doesn't mind if he can tell he's cataloguing this moment - the tired lines of the man's face, the sleepy mussed wave of his hair, the fond eyes, the tight lips that belie so much more.
he almost says something - mouth opening for a moment before he closes it again, hums in thought and shakes his head. ]
Thanks. I mean it.
[ his voice carries the low, tired note of someone just at the brink of sleeping. and when next hawk looks up he'll see just that - tim laughlin with his eyes closed, breathing evened out, lips faintly parted. unaware of the world around him all at once, and finally looking at peace as he rests. ]