[ there's something that will haunt tim about the way hawk admits he's been thinking about him for months and months now. it makes him burn a little hot now as it is, makes something roil in his belly uncomfortably, but pleasantly. he is wanted and desired by a man he also wants and desires in a way he's never experienced before. ]
It could be that. One day. If - If you want.
[ tim waiting for him, curled up in his bed after a long day. for a brief moment he allows himself to imagine the life that they might have after he graduates. the apartment he only hazily remembers, warm strong arms, the scent of his aftershave... and the way hawkins fuller is looking at him now - soft and open. whatever happens, he wants to feel as loved as he does right now, for the rest of time.
it all seems like a fairy tale really, the impossible come true.
but there it is - i don't know what that means for us. of course. it's not a rejection, and tim tries to gently remind himself it's being practical, realistic. the reality of their situation is that they can't date like this in the open, they can't do anything more than this simply due to the nature of their meeting. ]
But - right, yes. Sorry, I guess... I've been told I have a way of coming on strong.
[ because timothy laughlin can do nothing in half measures, and even falling in love means he is head first, all in. if that's what this is, anyway. but it feels like something stronger than he's ever felt, and the mere idea that there's the possibility that whatever this is could end in them apart, or separate, or anything not what they're sharing now?
it feels impossible.
but there goes his hand, hawk's lips brushing the back of it and he can't help the soft little gasp that passes by his lips - it's quiet, almost more a soft breath than anything, but his eyes widen, his face burns miserably. ]
You are. You really, really are. I... I know this is all complicated. So complicated. But I'll fly through the exams and it's just one more year. I - I want to do right by you, too. But everything will be easier after graduation. But -
[ he gives hawk's hand a squeeze, eyes falling to where the lips fell against his skin, where it feels like it's utterly burning. ]
I don't have any expectations. I know that... we have to figure things out. If you want to. I just - I don't mind what it is, so long as I can see you.
[ in the future, he'll look back at this and be furious with himself. but for now? he can't help but get wrapped up in the slow, creeping heat of attraction, nerves, and the wine. the wine that hawk refilled.
no subject
It could be that. One day. If - If you want.
[ tim waiting for him, curled up in his bed after a long day. for a brief moment he allows himself to imagine the life that they might have after he graduates. the apartment he only hazily remembers, warm strong arms, the scent of his aftershave... and the way hawkins fuller is looking at him now - soft and open. whatever happens, he wants to feel as loved as he does right now, for the rest of time.
it all seems like a fairy tale really, the impossible come true.
but there it is - i don't know what that means for us. of course. it's not a rejection, and tim tries to gently remind himself it's being practical, realistic. the reality of their situation is that they can't date like this in the open, they can't do anything more than this simply due to the nature of their meeting. ]
But - right, yes. Sorry, I guess... I've been told I have a way of coming on strong.
[ because timothy laughlin can do nothing in half measures, and even falling in love means he is head first, all in. if that's what this is, anyway. but it feels like something stronger than he's ever felt, and the mere idea that there's the possibility that whatever this is could end in them apart, or separate, or anything not what they're sharing now?
it feels impossible.
but there goes his hand, hawk's lips brushing the back of it and he can't help the soft little gasp that passes by his lips - it's quiet, almost more a soft breath than anything, but his eyes widen, his face burns miserably. ]
You are. You really, really are. I... I know this is all complicated. So complicated. But I'll fly through the exams and it's just one more year. I - I want to do right by you, too. But everything will be easier after graduation. But -
[ he gives hawk's hand a squeeze, eyes falling to where the lips fell against his skin, where it feels like it's utterly burning. ]
I don't have any expectations. I know that... we have to figure things out. If you want to. I just - I don't mind what it is, so long as I can see you.
[ in the future, he'll look back at this and be furious with himself. but for now? he can't help but get wrapped up in the slow, creeping heat of attraction, nerves, and the wine. the wine that hawk refilled.
he absently takes another sip. ]
I hope that's alright.