[none of this is right - all the secrets, the admissions that are spilling out of him as easily as the elegant pour of sweet red right into tim's glass. they should stay buried and locked away, something for him to fantasize over in moments of weakness (and loneliness) while he rides out the rest of his time until tenure on iron willpower and long distance one-night stands. and yet here sits timothy laughlin in front of him - maybe the most earnest, genuine man he's ever known with secrets buried just as deep and no less alluring for it. the boy that's managed to break through every rule, every barricade, every method of protection against his integrity and all his fears combined with a sweet smile and maybe the first person in the history of dc not to have an ulterior motive. there should be a cacophony of alarm bells ringing in his head, anything to tell him to cut this off before he gets in too deep.

(shit, it's too late for that now, isn't it?)

hawk has fallen hard and not even really fast - the slow tension churning since december through a whirlwind of coaxing, trust, and genuine pleasure getting to know his student on an impossibly deeper level. no one has captivated him like this with their values, their intrinsic way of being so goddamn good despite all the bad around them. despite hawk being easily lead astray, judgment clouded by an intimacy that transcends the physical - not that he'd pass up the opportunity on that given the obvious attraction that brought them here in the first place. so yeah, maybe his fantasies alternate between the "one day" tim talks about: thinking about him barefoot and padding through the kitchen in only hawk's button down, smiling into his shoulder every morning when he wakes up, gripping his thigh or holding his hand in the car on the way to a date just like this.

just like this, except without any rules and restraints. one day.]

Yeah, it's complicated.

[he nods in agreement, only for it to turn into a subtle shake of his head like it doesn't even fucking matter to him right now.]

I don't think I'm about to make it any less complicated by telling you this - but I don't think I can go a whole semester without seeing you anymore.

[he exhales like he's just breathed out a confession, and in a way he has - not coming on as strong as tim, but revealing just enough of his own desires that simply can't be ignored by virtue of their intensity now.]

It would be better for us both to wait for graduation, sure.

[hawk's eyes bore into tim's, head tilting and hand squeezing as if it might fully say what's between the lines. it would be better, but i can't wait anymore.]

But it is alright.

[his lips curve up into a slightly more mischievous smile, eyes twinkling as he raises his own almost drained glass in mock salute.]

You may not have expectations...but I have plenty.

[there's something low and promising in that, a heat under his own skin that he hopes tim feels too when his thumb shifts inward, slowly dragging up along the delicate veins and soft pulsepoint for a few electric moments.]

Think we might want to consider eating - at least one bit of hunger we can sate tonight.

[his free hand gestures to the otherwise ignored appetizers and menus that have yet to be collected. but his eyes don't leave that pretty flush on tim's skin, nor do they stop from dropping to his lips briefly and back up again.]