[it's strange to think he's done such a good job burying his desires - because he'll never forget how exposed he felt in broad daylight among christmas festivities and otherwise innocent bystanders amid that coffee shop months ago. like the whole place must have had eyes in the back of their head, that he was on full display with a neon sign spelling out that hawkins fuller was here to fuck a boy he's paid for the company. putting a face to the name and having that name turn out to be tim? of course he'd doubled back, pretended it wasn't real. his first line of defense had been to deny, deny, deny - but the further along it went, the more he knew he'd never be able to keep it that way forever. especially not if it meant watching him wilt away, though he's not so arrogant to think it's his attention alone that brought tim back like a flower moved out of the shadows and back into the sun, ready to bloom once more.
how could he do anything but want? it's practically eletric between them - and it has been ever since he set foot into hawk's classroom, christ.
so maybe it's clouding his judgment from never, can't, no to maybe, one day, soon. because he's been living in this fog the whole time, and having tim in front of him now, wide-eyed and flushed with admiration? it's clearing it up real quick for him.
hawk lets his fingers twine around tim's again, thumb brushing across his knuckles as he watches him pick up the fork and take his own bite this time. he gestures for him with a come hither motion to do it again, to turn it his way so he can open his mouth and have another to savor. it is pretty damn good, after all, and while it's sweet enough that he doubts he'll be able to take a stab at finishing the whole thing - he wants to draw this out as long as he can. before they have to get into close quarters with tim so warm and enticing for an hour and some change. before they have to head back to campus and pretend it's business as usual between them, that this hasn't changed everything for him, left him with a burning fire in his groin and his very soul that wants to consume the pretty thing sitting across from him looking utterly enamored.
but - it's the mention of cassiopeia that has him quirking his brows for a moment before his face smooths out and he tosses his head back and actually laughs. it's a genuine thing, easy and open and when he leans forward again with a little shake from side to side before looking at tim, there's equal measures of fondness and amusement in his eyes.]
You know - the first time you mentioned that, I had no idea what the fuck it was. Went along with it because, well - I was a little preoccupied, and I wasn't about to stop things to ask.
[it's maybe the first time he's acknowledged the reality of those sessions ever since shutting it down. admitting and making the connection between the two halves of their existence - now forever merged.]
You'll have to point her out to me. Not sure she can outshine you, though.
no subject
how could he do anything but want? it's practically eletric between them - and it has been ever since he set foot into hawk's classroom, christ.
so maybe it's clouding his judgment from never, can't, no to maybe, one day, soon. because he's been living in this fog the whole time, and having tim in front of him now, wide-eyed and flushed with admiration? it's clearing it up real quick for him.
hawk lets his fingers twine around tim's again, thumb brushing across his knuckles as he watches him pick up the fork and take his own bite this time. he gestures for him with a come hither motion to do it again, to turn it his way so he can open his mouth and have another to savor. it is pretty damn good, after all, and while it's sweet enough that he doubts he'll be able to take a stab at finishing the whole thing - he wants to draw this out as long as he can. before they have to get into close quarters with tim so warm and enticing for an hour and some change. before they have to head back to campus and pretend it's business as usual between them, that this hasn't changed everything for him, left him with a burning fire in his groin and his very soul that wants to consume the pretty thing sitting across from him looking utterly enamored.
but - it's the mention of cassiopeia that has him quirking his brows for a moment before his face smooths out and he tosses his head back and actually laughs. it's a genuine thing, easy and open and when he leans forward again with a little shake from side to side before looking at tim, there's equal measures of fondness and amusement in his eyes.]
You know - the first time you mentioned that, I had no idea what the fuck it was. Went along with it because, well - I was a little preoccupied, and I wasn't about to stop things to ask.
[it's maybe the first time he's acknowledged the reality of those sessions ever since shutting it down. admitting and making the connection between the two halves of their existence - now forever merged.]
You'll have to point her out to me. Not sure she can outshine you, though.