[it's funny how time can stand still and speed up so much in the span of a mere minute. tim presses up against him onto his toes, seeking it out in a physical manifestation that none of this is quite enough. and now that he's gone and broken one of his own cardinal rules - hawk suspects it never will be again, not when there's a soft nuzzle of tim's nose against his own, a butterfly kiss on top of the chaste one he's trying to place here so they can part and try not to think more on it. but it's a foolish endeavor from the start - hawk knowing when tim sighs into it that simply letting go isn't an option. it didn't work in december, and it sure as hell won't work now - now that he knows how tim feels pressed against his body so willingly.
fuck. it's not a filthy kiss this time, even if it wasn't the first, but there is a slow build to it, the kind of hunger and passion that's barely masked even though hawk's desperately trying to contain the bulk of it behind one of his already cracked facades. his lips pull back even if his body refuses to let go of tim right now - pressing his forehead against the other man's and exhales sharply against his lips with a slight shake of his head.]
Couldn't even if I wanted to.
[and that's the fucking truth. it's a heavy, vulnerable thing to admit - but the thought of letting tim down when he looks up through heavy lidded doe-eyes makes it all but impossible to stop. hawk inhales for a moment, holding it in and thinking about all the merits of willpower and his career on the line before making the decision in a split second. one hand falls to slip between tim's with a soft squeeze against his palm, and he pulls away to glance both ways before tugging him towards the car in the short distance.]
C'mere.
[i can't let this end either, he wants to say. but instead he practically drags tim back to the car, opening his door and letting him slide in before coming round the driver's side with measured intention and shutting his own. there's a pause, considering that he could shove his key in and start the ignition - get on the road before he does anything stupid. instead, he turns at the waist, both hands reaching for tim's cheeks again as he drags him in with all the ferocity he's been holding back behind the added privacy of dim street lights and darkened windows. there's a hunger in the way he groans against his lips, like he might devour tim whole if he were afforded the opportunity the way his jaw works and his tongue slips inside that plush mouth.]
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fuck. it's not a filthy kiss this time, even if it wasn't the first, but there is a slow build to it, the kind of hunger and passion that's barely masked even though hawk's desperately trying to contain the bulk of it behind one of his already cracked facades. his lips pull back even if his body refuses to let go of tim right now - pressing his forehead against the other man's and exhales sharply against his lips with a slight shake of his head.]
Couldn't even if I wanted to.
[and that's the fucking truth. it's a heavy, vulnerable thing to admit - but the thought of letting tim down when he looks up through heavy lidded doe-eyes makes it all but impossible to stop. hawk inhales for a moment, holding it in and thinking about all the merits of willpower and his career on the line before making the decision in a split second. one hand falls to slip between tim's with a soft squeeze against his palm, and he pulls away to glance both ways before tugging him towards the car in the short distance.]
C'mere.
[i can't let this end either, he wants to say. but instead he practically drags tim back to the car, opening his door and letting him slide in before coming round the driver's side with measured intention and shutting his own. there's a pause, considering that he could shove his key in and start the ignition - get on the road before he does anything stupid. instead, he turns at the waist, both hands reaching for tim's cheeks again as he drags him in with all the ferocity he's been holding back behind the added privacy of dim street lights and darkened windows. there's a hunger in the way he groans against his lips, like he might devour tim whole if he were afforded the opportunity the way his jaw works and his tongue slips inside that plush mouth.]