[ he wishes the music would stop. the needle is barely halfway across the record, picking at old wounds that still haven't healed even after years of recovery time — or maybe there's never been any recovery time at all, because he's never spent any substantial amount of time apart from ash. in any case, this is not the time to assess his battered emotional health, not when hawk is staring at him like he wants to throw him in his car and dump him somewhere to have him committed. ]
I want to.
[ the admittance comes in a hoarse rasp. christ, he wants, and he doesn't know if it's the edge of loneliness or if he's just attracted to grief. maybe he's just drawn to how familiar all of this is, slotting hawk into a place he shouldn't be.
he shivers at the slow brush of hawk's thumb, his eyes falling shut as he practically stifles a moan at those words. no obligation. it's the worst thing he could say, because it's absolution from his sins. it's permission to not give a damn about what's right or wrong. it feeds into his worst impulses and darkest desires, his carnal fucking lust for hawk to ravage him and for embry not to give a fuck how it makes either of them feel afterwards.
someone just died. he tries to keep repeating that, but hawk is so close, and so nearly naked, and if he just kisses him again, he can pretend just for now that he isn't alone, that he still has a little piece of ash's love.
fuck, it's wrong — and embry does it anyway, drawing hawk in with both hands cradling his cheeks until their mouths are pressed together once more. they'd taken steps toward hawk's bedroom before stopping, and now he pushes them toward the door with urgency. ]
I don't care where. [ breathless, between biting kisses, one hand slipping the fabric of hawk's robe down his shoulder. ] Fuck me or I'm gonna fuck you.
no subject
I want to.
[ the admittance comes in a hoarse rasp. christ, he wants, and he doesn't know if it's the edge of loneliness or if he's just attracted to grief. maybe he's just drawn to how familiar all of this is, slotting hawk into a place he shouldn't be.
he shivers at the slow brush of hawk's thumb, his eyes falling shut as he practically stifles a moan at those words. no obligation. it's the worst thing he could say, because it's absolution from his sins. it's permission to not give a damn about what's right or wrong. it feeds into his worst impulses and darkest desires, his carnal fucking lust for hawk to ravage him and for embry not to give a fuck how it makes either of them feel afterwards.
someone just died. he tries to keep repeating that, but hawk is so close, and so nearly naked, and if he just kisses him again, he can pretend just for now that he isn't alone, that he still has a little piece of ash's love.
fuck, it's wrong — and embry does it anyway, drawing hawk in with both hands cradling his cheeks until their mouths are pressed together once more. they'd taken steps toward hawk's bedroom before stopping, and now he pushes them toward the door with urgency. ]
I don't care where. [ breathless, between biting kisses, one hand slipping the fabric of hawk's robe down his shoulder. ] Fuck me or I'm gonna fuck you.