[ he fights against his pleasure just because now hawk is delivering it, trying to clench his muscles tight in obstinate rebellion, but it's been too long and it's too good surrounded by soft silk and the heady, earthy scent that's uniquely hawk. embry has been in a lot of strange beds before — although less, in his years with ash and even in the broken aftermath that followed — and it's easy to fall back into this when they're both so willing to go to a place where thinking is secondary and forgetting is everything. the only thing that matters is the bruising press of hawk's fingers, the torturous grind of silk. embry's breath spins out of him like thread, a flush staining his cheeks. ]

Shit.

[ his hips jerk into the warm press of silk, and then he's soaking it with a shudder, coming embarrassingly fast as if he's never had sex in his life. the truth is he hasn't had actual sex in months now — staunchly not counting whatever happened at lyonesse — not since ash proposed and embry saw his life flash before his eyes and felt his heart go leaden in his chest. he hasn't been himself, returning to the familiar husk that he transforms to when he's detached from ash's side. it's not that he doesn't want it, but that he can't imagine anyone else's dark hair and piercing eyes and kingly jaw but ash's, and even when he thinks he can try to close his eyes and pretend, he just ends up scraped out and hollow before he can even begin.

and then there's hawk. hawk, who's always around, with his own set of dark hair and piercing eyes, and this aura of fucking mystery that embry can't quite crack. he's a distraction, but a welcome one, because embry is tired of drowning in his own sadness. for once hawk might be sadder than he is, and embry is horribly, spitefully glad for it, if only for a split second before guilt lances him and he remembers what a shitty fucking human being he is. he buries the sound that keens out of him just beneath hawk's ear, fisting his hair in dark curls and pulling him down, half for fear that hawk might see the truth on his face. ]

Changed my mind. I want to fuck you, with your face in the sheets, until your ass is raw. [ he sounds almost tender as he says it, hazy from his orgasm, his panting breaths warm against hawk's stubbled jaw. he rolls his hips into hawk's, the damp silk crushed between them, shivering at the sensation. ] I want to come all over you and make you clean yourself up.