[the real secret he's kept locked up tighter than goddamn fort knox? is that hawkins fuller has a surprisingly soft center - like some fucking milk chocolate meltaway. it's only by his own efforts that everyone knows he's a ruthless bastard who plays the dc game with the best of them - he's just learned the art of a pleasant smile and a handshake while he holds the knife behind his back to stab them when it counts. he knows when to cash in his favors, play it close to the chest, and offer a helping hand so he doesn't come across like a total tool. but he's no stranger to getting his hands dirty for the sake of the greater good, and it's not as fucking noble or heroic as the movies and even tim tried to make it seem once upon a time. tim, who he only barely confessed his closeness to senator smith to - tim who saw through the ugly parts and spent nights cradled in his arms, peppered with kisses and affection no one else would recognize.
there's a man in there somewhere that he would have been, if it weren't for his father and kenny and the world they live in. in some ways, senator smith had cemented that too - the notion that real love does nothing but bring pain to the people you care about. vulnerabilities of any kind are a risk that are too fucking high to pay.
which is why it's a terrible idea to let himself go down this route with embry. to have already broken one of his cardinal rules - kissing him like the air in his lungs was a natural resource that only passed through embry's plush lips. confiding war stories in him that not even his mandated government therapist ever knew the full scope of. but something about all of embry's sharp edges and hidden layers makes hawk want to unravel them piece by piece - even if he knows they're likely wrapped up in ash and greer. normally pretty faces and tragic pasts would make him run clear the opposite direction, but for every amount embry bristles at his sometimes overbearing professional responsibilities that aren't entirely for the sake of the job, there is something alluring that makes hawk want to get closer.
like right now, when he arches up against the hardness hawk's had ever since embry stripped out of his suit and kisses him with a heat that's contagious - that has hawk pressing down against him, fingers feather light up his rib cage while his free hand cups at the nape of his neck to deepen it. god, he could do this all night. nearly as addicting as the numbness that comes from the bottom of a bottle of scotch these last few days - better, if he's honest with himself.]
Yeah?
[it comes out in an amused rasp that's only half-authentic, a little smirk that doesn't fully reach his eyes. this is so different than their first go around - all rough, sloppy and without a care for anything beyond pleasure pricked with an edge of pain. but this? it's intimate. hawk already knows he wants to do this the right way, slow and measured where they can both fall apart and feel raw both mentally and physically when it's all said and done. it's why he reaches over to his nightstand, fumbling with something in the top shelf before his fingers come back glistening.]
Might wear you out, you know.
[he trails his clean hand down embry's front until he reaches one of his thighs, pressing it upwards to spread his legs a little further. there's a pause, like he wants to say something - and he does, maybe, if he wasn't so goddamn wounded and fucked up and trying to hold it together. instead he dips down again for another hungry kiss, nipping at embry's lips and making his way down along his jawline the moment two slick fingers press against the tight furl of his hole and start to push in. it's not soft, but it's more than he did for him the last time, that's for damn sure. hawk hums, low and almost amused at how tight he feels as he laves his tongue along embry's jugular in lieu of something lewd.]
no subject
there's a man in there somewhere that he would have been, if it weren't for his father and kenny and the world they live in. in some ways, senator smith had cemented that too - the notion that real love does nothing but bring pain to the people you care about. vulnerabilities of any kind are a risk that are too fucking high to pay.
which is why it's a terrible idea to let himself go down this route with embry. to have already broken one of his cardinal rules - kissing him like the air in his lungs was a natural resource that only passed through embry's plush lips. confiding war stories in him that not even his mandated government therapist ever knew the full scope of. but something about all of embry's sharp edges and hidden layers makes hawk want to unravel them piece by piece - even if he knows they're likely wrapped up in ash and greer. normally pretty faces and tragic pasts would make him run clear the opposite direction, but for every amount embry bristles at his sometimes overbearing professional responsibilities that aren't entirely for the sake of the job, there is something alluring that makes hawk want to get closer.
like right now, when he arches up against the hardness hawk's had ever since embry stripped out of his suit and kisses him with a heat that's contagious - that has hawk pressing down against him, fingers feather light up his rib cage while his free hand cups at the nape of his neck to deepen it. god, he could do this all night. nearly as addicting as the numbness that comes from the bottom of a bottle of scotch these last few days - better, if he's honest with himself.]
Yeah?
[it comes out in an amused rasp that's only half-authentic, a little smirk that doesn't fully reach his eyes. this is so different than their first go around - all rough, sloppy and without a care for anything beyond pleasure pricked with an edge of pain. but this? it's intimate. hawk already knows he wants to do this the right way, slow and measured where they can both fall apart and feel raw both mentally and physically when it's all said and done. it's why he reaches over to his nightstand, fumbling with something in the top shelf before his fingers come back glistening.]
Might wear you out, you know.
[he trails his clean hand down embry's front until he reaches one of his thighs, pressing it upwards to spread his legs a little further. there's a pause, like he wants to say something - and he does, maybe, if he wasn't so goddamn wounded and fucked up and trying to hold it together. instead he dips down again for another hungry kiss, nipping at embry's lips and making his way down along his jawline the moment two slick fingers press against the tight furl of his hole and start to push in. it's not soft, but it's more than he did for him the last time, that's for damn sure. hawk hums, low and almost amused at how tight he feels as he laves his tongue along embry's jugular in lieu of something lewd.]