everything you're saying is exactly why i want you. everything about you. you fill a need. it's not some fairy tale bullshit i'm chasing. i need this. i need you.
[ the pathetically disgusting reality of that hits him like a slap in the face. there's nothing that could ever shake his love for ash, nor diminish his feelings for greer. but hawk is his solace behind doors that will remain permanently closed, and there's a certain relief in knowing that. there's comfort in the knowledge that he can never disappoint hawk on a monumental scale the way he does ash, because there's no love between them. there's something else of a different sort of complexity that he finds just as important, just as necessary. hawk is the absence of expectation when embry feels like he's suffocating from his secrets, when looking ash dead in the eye physically hurts.
and yet — his bitterness is a living thing, souring his thoughts. at the end of the day, he doesn't need anyone, not ash and not greer and certainly not hawk. ]
but you don't get to close the door in my face and then order me around. i'm not asking you for shit. do i look like the kind of person that needs to come crawling on their hands and knees for a fuck?
[ no matter how much he might enjoy that sort of thing. ]
i'm willing to do what needs to be done. consequences be damned. forget about the pieces on the floor when it's said and done. i accept everything about you. don't change at all. go do what you said you were gonna do. it wasn't with me.
no subject
you fill a need. it's not some fairy tale bullshit i'm chasing. i need this. i need you.
[ the pathetically disgusting reality of that hits him like a slap in the face. there's nothing that could ever shake his love for ash, nor diminish his feelings for greer. but hawk is his solace behind doors that will remain permanently closed, and there's a certain relief in knowing that. there's comfort in the knowledge that he can never disappoint hawk on a monumental scale the way he does ash, because there's no love between them. there's something else of a different sort of complexity that he finds just as important, just as necessary. hawk is the absence of expectation when embry feels like he's suffocating from his secrets, when looking ash dead in the eye physically hurts.
and yet — his bitterness is a living thing, souring his thoughts. at the end of the day, he doesn't need anyone, not ash and not greer and certainly not hawk. ]
but you don't get to close the door in my face and then order me around. i'm not asking you for shit. do i look like the kind of person that needs to come crawling on their hands and knees for a fuck?
[ no matter how much he might enjoy that sort of thing. ]
i'm willing to do what needs to be done. consequences be damned. forget about the pieces on the floor when it's said and done.
i accept everything about you. don't change at all. go do what you said you were gonna do.
it wasn't with me.