[there's no response for a minute, hawk burying his face against tim once more and refusing to look up as he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to keep the glassiness threatening to spill over from turning into actual tears. his teeth are practically grinding against themselves, chin shaking with the restraint of it as he clutches tim impossibly tighter. it's not out of selfishness anymore, not of stealing these moments for the aching need in his chest to be with the man he wants when he's the reason for the imposed distance. this is a real need - not to shake apart right now with the realization that this could be his fault. that senator smith did the only thing he had left to save them all, a good man until the end.
where'd it leave lucy? lenny? what about - the senate? there's so many questions, and he can't articulate a single goddamn one right now. tim's hand is sweet, voice fond even though he doesn't feel like he deserves one bit of it.]
What if it's...because I was here?
[the thought strikes him suddenly, as he lifts a hand to subtly try and brush over his eyes and swallow thickly through the lump in his throat.]
no subject
where'd it leave lucy? lenny? what about - the senate? there's so many questions, and he can't articulate a single goddamn one right now. tim's hand is sweet, voice fond even though he doesn't feel like he deserves one bit of it.]
What if it's...because I was here?
[the thought strikes him suddenly, as he lifts a hand to subtly try and brush over his eyes and swallow thickly through the lump in his throat.]
When did you see me last? What about - after?