[tim wouldn't lie to him about this. tim told him once before - about their goodbye, about fort dix and the army he never made it to. his relief had been palpable for different reasons then: not having to see his boy torn apart by the cruelties of war, wondering if it would harden and misshape him as much mentally as it may physically. but now he can lean on it for the reassurance, however mild, that it's all true. post-funeral, which he surely attended. lucy still on his arm, willing to stay engaged with him - that wouldn't have happened if this was somehow his fault, would it?
hawk exhales in a rush, eyes squeezing shut as tim pulls him in again. he can't help but clutch around him, breathing him in and letting some of the wetness gathering in the corners slip free in the safety of his lover's arms, in this space where it feels sometimes like no one can hurt them in their freedom to just be. there's a nuzzle against his shoulder, hawk nodding weakly in agreement to all of it. he understands it wasn't his fault. he can trust tim, always, implicitly. and maybe it's the crux of their issue now, but it's not because of a lack of it rather than his own stubbornness trying to protect him from getting dragged into this mess.
there's a soft sniff, hawk trying to clear the congestion in his nose and throat from the well of emotion as he feels soft lips against his temple, eyes opening with a watery smile.]
You're sure?
[you'd do that for me, despite everything? that's what he can't bring himself to ask, because he already knows the answer. his fingers slip to tim's wrist, thumb running lightly across his pulsepoint with an affection reflected in his gaze as he shuffles back up and onto the bed. there's only a moment more of hesitation, teeth biting down on his front lip before he asks in a raw voice:]
...Did he leave anything behind? A letter, instructions, explanation?
There were things - we were working on. I was taking care of.
[hawk lets himself lay back, shifting to the side to leave room for tim to crawl in implicitly the way they used to weeks before.]
no subject
hawk exhales in a rush, eyes squeezing shut as tim pulls him in again. he can't help but clutch around him, breathing him in and letting some of the wetness gathering in the corners slip free in the safety of his lover's arms, in this space where it feels sometimes like no one can hurt them in their freedom to just be. there's a nuzzle against his shoulder, hawk nodding weakly in agreement to all of it. he understands it wasn't his fault. he can trust tim, always, implicitly. and maybe it's the crux of their issue now, but it's not because of a lack of it rather than his own stubbornness trying to protect him from getting dragged into this mess.
there's a soft sniff, hawk trying to clear the congestion in his nose and throat from the well of emotion as he feels soft lips against his temple, eyes opening with a watery smile.]
You're sure?
[you'd do that for me, despite everything? that's what he can't bring himself to ask, because he already knows the answer. his fingers slip to tim's wrist, thumb running lightly across his pulsepoint with an affection reflected in his gaze as he shuffles back up and onto the bed. there's only a moment more of hesitation, teeth biting down on his front lip before he asks in a raw voice:]
...Did he leave anything behind? A letter, instructions, explanation?
There were things - we were working on. I was taking care of.
[hawk lets himself lay back, shifting to the side to leave room for tim to crawl in implicitly the way they used to weeks before.]