you believe me like a god

[SALTBURNT AU INBOX 2.0]

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 23:44:18 GMT

WELCOME TO SALTBURNT MANOR
𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐻𝑎𝑤𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠 𝑍. 𝐹𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑟

letters ❖ dance card ❖ telepathy

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[SALT MEMSHARE]

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 02:56:23 GMT

[TW: period-typical homophobia, slurs, conversion therapy, nsfw content.]

#1: first love
#2: caught
#3: internalization
#4: fuck religion
#5: ww2 + the death of love
#6: soulmate
#7: the lavender scare
#8: the polgyraph test
#9: survival

JUNE 1936

You're 16 years old. 

You're a tennis star with a bright future ahead, white shorts and polos always neatly pressed, shoes absent scuffs where your mother - or probably the staff - polishes them away at the end of every game you play. 

Your dark hair is slicked back, cheeks flushed pink from exertion and much more than just youthful excitement glittering in endless blue eyes as you take one end of the massive gold trophy in hand and look over at your doubles partner. His hair is lighter than yours, chestnut brown, christened gold from the sun - an impossibly giddy look on his face that you meet eagerly. 

You're 16 years old, and you think you are in love with a boy named Kenneth Ward. Later, when you both kiss each other shyly in the privacy of the locker room in a rush, you think you might have dreamt it - but you're pretty sure he might love you too. 

You're 16 years old, and you are happy. 

♡

SEPTEMBER 1936

You're 16 years old. 

You've just spent the best summer of your life, and you don't know how it could ever get any better than this. 

You and Kenny are inseparable - on the field and off. 

Your mother smiles at you like she knows something you don't, but she always makes sure there is fresh lemonade and jello every time Kenny comes over after practice. 

Your father looks at you sometimes like he knows something you don't, but he never says more than a gruff hello to you both in passing before picking up his cigarettes and haranguing your mother with derision at the state of the world. 

You finish your homework at the table, diligent as always, before loudly mentioning you have to show Kenny the trophy from the summer's victory - it's just been polished, and it's shiny enough to see a reflection. Dinner is nowhere near done, and your parents are both deep into the conversation that's never really even-sided. 

You dare to take Kenny's hand and pull him up the stairs to your boyhood room, never shy about the stuffed animal or the trinkets on your dressers. You close the door quietly, hands shaking as you tell him you want to do something special for him this time. It can't always be furtive kisses and quick tugs of the palm - and when you overheard one of the girls at school talking about it, you knew it's what would show Kenny how much he means to you. 

You're on your knees, heart hammering in your chest and nerves alight not from the fear of being caught - but because you're not sure you can contain the love that threatens to consume you whole. Kenny's hand is in your hair, gentle, and his voice is soft and undone. You taste sweat and saltiness, lapping at him like one of the lollipops from time you snuck out of practice early to hit the carnival in town. Your cheeks hollow, fighting the urge to gag as you try to swallow more of him, coughing around it and apologizing with a laugh that it's not as easy as the girl made it sound. You'll get better at it - you just need to practice, you say with an eager grin. 

You're on your knees, and Kenny is making the most exciting noises you think you've ever heard in your life. Your own cock hangs heavy behind your school slacks, but it doesn't matter - making sure Kenny knows how vast the love you feel for him is. Your eyes slip shut, and you've found a rhythm, one that's conducted by the staccatoed hitch of Kenny's breath and the flex and release of his fingers in your hair. I'm close, Hawk -, he says, and that's okay, because - 

"What the hell is this?" 

You freeze, scrambling away on your knees like you've been doused in scalding water. Your father's voice rings out sharp, disgusted, his face an angry snarl of disbelief and hatred. The kind you see every time he talks about the state of the world. 

You are caught. You want the ground to swallow you and Kenny whole, so you can both escape somewhere else where there is no judgment in your father or anyone else's eyes. 

Your own eyes burn with tears as you try to explain, but it's no use. You're exposed - the secret you've been hiding fully revealed to a man who will never understand what real love is, because he doesn't even feel it for your mother. 

Your life as you knew it is over.  

You don't see Kenny anymore, and you don't play tennis again. 

You're 16 years old, and you are devastated. 

♡

DECEMBER 1937

You're 17 years old. 

You're somehow 17 years old, even though time feels like it passes too quickly and yet not quick enough at all. 

You miss Kenny something terribly, but you can't afford to let it show. 

Your softness is gone, replaced with something numb and tired and raw, not even angry, because angry means you care. You cannot care in the face of the rumors that have started - the ones you aren't even sure how they escaped. 

Your father can barely look at you, and your mother only sneaks her sympathy in when he isn't looking. You don't feel judgment from her, but it's not enough. 

You are suffocating, day in and day out in that house. 

It's freezing before the holidays, but your school wants to take you all on a trip to Washington DC. Your father protests, accusing you of using it as an opportunity to engage in homosexual deviance with that boy whose name he can barely even utter. Your mother insists it will look even more suspicious if you do not attend, which is how you wind up on a bus - listless and avoiding attention from your classmates. You pointedly sit in the back, ignoring Kenny's look when you pass by the seat he has vacant in the aisle. 

Surprisingly, you do find some interest in visiting the capital. Seeing the men in their crisp suits with smoke wafting from their lips and phones perched on their shoulders as they talk fast and smart seems powerful. Rewarding. This is where change happens in the world. 

You look idly at souvenirs in the gift shop, but it's the commotion on the way out that pulls you out of a lull. 

"What kind of girly shit is this, Ward?" 

You look up and see the boys razzing Kenny, who is holding a paperweight in his palm - cherry blossoms around the Jefferson Memorial. They keep it going the whole way to the bus, and then on the whole ride home. You see Kenny meet your gaze, trying to tell you something - trying to ask you to step in, maybe - for some reason your word still counts. You turn to the window and close your eyes, pretending to sleep. 

When you get home, your mother unpacks your bag and pulls out the very same paperweight, telling you it's a beautiful memory. You wonder how it got there, and how it's possible for it to hurt your heart this badly.  

You're 17 years old, and you know that you still love Kenny, but you also know that he shouldn't love you. 

♡

FEBRUARY 1938

You're 18 years old. 

You've been transferred to another school your final semester of your senior year, and your father insists it will be good for you. That you can repent by learning the Jesuit ways, by taking on something more stringent than comfortably Protestant or outright atheist. 

You miss the familiarity you grew up with elsewhere - and you miss being able to see Kenny, even if you didn't dare speak a word to him. 

You hate it here, and you hate the fact that none of these adults understand the hypocrisy that comes with a God who is supposed to encourage love, but cannot forgive - who would make anything wrong in the first place. What's so wrong about what you and Kenny had? 

Nothing. 

You do well because you must, because doing well means you can escape to Penn. You're almost free, except it's not really freedom, is it? It's just a different sort of cage. 

You're 18 years old, and you're moving on. 

♡

AUGUST 1945

You're 25 years old. 

You've grown up into a handsome, desirable man - a man who leads, a man who has earned the title of Sergeant and is respected by your small squadron of men in Europe against the horrors of the Nazis. Every day your Italian gets a little better, and you think you could see yourself settling down here after a career in politics. 

You've become good at bullshitting, at sweet talking and playing up the charm - of knowing the exact right thing to say, the right person to know. You got lucky in college, meeting a then-Governor Wesley Smith and his perfect children - Lucy and Leonard. You were practically adopted in, your father relieved that a man so well-respected doesn't see the stained veneer of your queerness and that it meant you didn't have to come home for the holidays and spoil his mood. 

You're smoking a cigarette and playing a hand of poker when the letter comes - handwriting that gets a little shakier every time from your mother. You tell the boys to wait a minute, deal you back in after you finish reading it. 

It's your friend - Kenneth Ward. He didn't make it in Luzon. I'm sorry, Hawkins. 

You crush the paper, telling everyone you need to take a leak outside and get some air. No one sees that your eyes are glassy and the ash is gathering at the end of your cigarette, and no one knows that it's not the reason your lungs feel tight. No one can taste the choke of smoke that isn't from nicotine and tobacco paper because no one else is choking on the guilt that they got their best friend - their ex-lover killed. 

You know Kenny joined the military to stay close to you. You know it's your fault he died. 

You're 25 years old, and you have it confirmed yet again: love is a dangerous liability. 

♡

NOVEMBER 1952

You're 32, and you're on top of the world. 

Well - you're on top of the world you created for yourself: hands in every pocket, still operating enough in the shadows not to attract too much attention. A nice title that still earns respect and requires discretion, but not picked apart the way the man you idolize, your mentor and second father figure: Senator Smith, has to watch out for. 

You're at another boring election night party, and even though you know voting is a waste of goddamn time, you've got to tease and schmooze and pretend like you aren't surprised or disappointed when Eisenhower's name gets announced the winner. 

You're waiting to get a drink before they finish the final tally, and you're struck in the eye by a roving spotlight: illuminating tousled chestnut hair, thick-rimmed glasses and an ill-fitting brown suit. You can't tear your eyes away from the young man desperately trying to get noticed at the bar, trying to wave the bartender down. 

You laugh incredulously when he tells you he wants a glass of milk. 

You get it for him, and you offer him a cheers across the table before you depart. 

You're 32, convincing yourself you aren't immediately smitten, and you know it's a lie. 

♡

APRIL 1953

You're 33, and you're still living underneath a mask. 

Executive Order 10450 has been introduced by Tailgunner Joe, the same man who everyone knows lets his hands linger too long on sweet-faced boys. You listen as he tells everyone he wants to root out deviancy from the government, to ban these colluders and easily-influenced charlatans from corrupting the morals the United States upholds. You think it's all a goddamn joke, but people are running scared. 

You are approached by George Bauers at a party, and he's shaking. You haven't seen him in a while, preferring the Cozy Corner to his choice in haunts, and you apologize for losing touch. He looks like he's seen a ghost, and when he begs you for the name of someone he can turn in - you ask if he knows the name of any of his tricks. He says he can't even stand to look at them, that he'd never give the name of anyone at work - he'd never turn you in. Would you do that to him? 

You would, but you don't tell him that. Instead, you tell him you'll work on it. 

You're given an easy answer a few days later: Eddie Kofler. A pimply blond you picked up in Lafayette Square's public toilets months ago for a rough fuck. You ignored him when he asked for your name and number. He catches you outside of work, trying to spark something, and you pretend you don't know him, but you have to fix this. You're caught off guard, but you've got George's answer. 

You circle around twice in the building until he's gone, pretending you're working clear across the way just to see someone else. You pick up the phone once you're safely in your office, dialing George's number, and you give him Eddie's name. 

You think it's over, and you're wrong - because none of this can ever be simple again. 

You get another call from George, begging you to meet. You pick a quiet monument after hours where McLeod's spies won't be looking - won't see you associating with a disgraced member of government. Your name was a success: he's been asked to retire quietly, no fuss. They won't tell his family. 

"What's the problem?" you ask, confused. This is the best he's gonna get. 

"That kid tried to kill himself." 

Eddie. 

Fuck. 

You tell him to stay away, to go home to his family and be grateful for what he still has. George asks how he's supposed to live with himself - how the hell should you know? 

You go home to the safe in your closet behind neat lines of pressed shirts and suits, oxfords and glimmering cufflinks, pulling out a wad of cash. You stuff it in an envelope, writing Eddie's name on it. You pull on a hat and a trench, making sure no one is following you on the way there or waiting in the street. You remember the building but not the unit, stopping to check the mailboxes until you find his. You leave the wad of cash at his door, tamping down the guilt that should be eating you alive, but it's easier than it used to be. 

You're safe from this, and that's all that matters. 

You're 33, and it's every man for himself. 

♡

DECEMBER 1953

You're 33, and you're spending Christmas strapped to a goddamn polygraph machine.

You spent the last few nights practicing, after the best pre-Christmas celebration you could have asked for passed. After you gave away a piece yourself to a boy that's worth risking it all for, even if you've been careful. 

You are asked dozens of demeaning questions, an extra bit of intended humiliation after the test of manhood they already gave you days ago. Walk across the room, read a controversial passage - your mother could pass it given how ludicrous it is.

You think about the corporal in Velletri, the Cozy Corner - you think about Tim Laughlin on his knees ready to worship you. You hold your heart rate steady because you know you have nothing to feel guilty for - you've done nothing wrong. 

You pass with flying colors, but no one knows that every single question was answered with a lie.

You're 33, in love, and you know this won't end well. 

♡

OCTOBER 1954

You're 34, and everything is starting to unravel. 

Your future brother-in-law, Leonard Smith, has been arrested for public indecency. You slip the cop you know money to make it go away - for now. You keep him out of jail, and all he does is sneer at you that you're just using his dad's dirty money anyway. 

You know this is more serious than it looks. 

You go back to Tim when it's almost 5am, pausing in the doorway to drink in how perfect he looks in your bed. This is what you want to come home to every night, if you could. This is who you love, even if you don't and can't ever say it. 

This is what will have to come to an end sooner rather than later, even if you're trying to let it last a little longer. 

You try to reason with Senator Smith in the coming days. Leonard isn't well - but you're working on keeping it out of the papers. The other cronies on McCarthy's team don't care about that, though, and you just have to beat them to it so they can't blackmail the man you've idolized since you were in your 20s. 

You find the perfect solution: a place that will take Lenny, that will lock the door and throw away the key. A place that will make him what he's supposed to be: a straight-laced family man seeking a wife and a white picket fence. They'll burn out the disgusting acts he let himself fall into: being on his knees for a stranger in a dirty public toilet in the middle of Lafayette Square. 

Lenny remembers the time you first stayed the summer at their lake house. Lenny remembers when you both pulled out your cocks and stroked them off together, not daring to touch, but looking each other in the eye. 

You tell Lenny that's what boys do, but men grow out of it - like you did. You drive Lenny to the institution, and you listen when he says he wants to get better. 

You know deep down there's nothing wrong with him, just like there's nothing wrong with you. But you play the part of a spectator in a zoo when you talk to the head administrator of the facility, acting as if you've just deposited a new experiment into one of their padded cells. You slip him extra not to allow for contact in or out. 

You know you are sentencing Lenny to hell for however long it takes. 

You're 34, a bastard, but you know this is what you have to do to keep surviving. 

♡

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[SALTBURNT AU INBOX]

Sun, 01 Jun 2025 15:17:31 GMT

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
HZF

text ❖ audio ❖ video

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[CR CHART]

Sat, 17 Aug 2024 04:31:17 GMT

♥ TIM LAUGHLIN Love of his goddamn life. On-and-off again relationship until he gets his shit together. Fiercely loyal, devoted, and sweet. Terrible at keeping things to himself. JOURNAL ABOUT INBOX	♥ EMBRY MOORE Confidant and one of the few people who understands the kind of man he is and the things he does. Great in bed. Likes him just the way he is (it's mutual). JOURNAL ABOUT INBOX	♥ Louis de Pointe du Lac A real Southern gentleman. Easy conversation without saying a word. Mesmerizingly otherworldly to look at. Reminds him of the taste of blood (?) JOURNAL INFO INBOX
♦ ALICENT HIGHTOWER An honorable woman who he thinks knows far more than she lets on. Perfectly polite, generous and especially grateful to Tim - the only way to be. JOURNAL INFO INBOX	♦ MAXINE MINX Little Miss Snow White. Not sure why he wants to save her from the coke problem, but he also appreciates that she doesn't seem well-behaved. JOURNAL INFO INBOX	♦ GREER GALLOWAY Easy on the eyes with the intelligence to match. Clearly would excel in DC, where she knows Embry and Ash. What's that menage really like? JOURNAL INFO INBOX
♠ Alia Atreides Almost killed Tim, but she's so sorry he can't help forgiving her. Still not sure about the Voice™, but she reminds him of an affectionate crow with her mannerisms. JOURNAL INFO INBOX	♠ Koby Tim's best friend - god knows what he knows. Well-meaning and honest, if not a bit timid and needing a confidence boost. JOURNAL INFO INBOX	♠ TBA BLAH BLAH BLAH JOURNAL INFO INBOX

CODING

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[FIRST IMPRESSIONS & PERMISSIONS]

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 22:41:21 GMT

𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃 𝙸𝙼𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂

APPEARANCE

portrayed by matt bomer. mid-30s (34), but looks closer to 40. 5'11. dark brown, almost black hair always carefully slicked back and swooped to one side with pomade. thick brows and almond-shaped bright blue eyes. light to slightly tanned skin. classically handsome with a strong jaw and old hollywood gentlemanly vibes. smooth skin that is clearly cared for, even though he's a smoker. probably smells like a combination of cigarettes, scotch whiskey, and woodsy, masculine cologne. no stubble other than occasional five o'clock shadow, and no hair from the neck down other than on his arms and legs. toned but lean and athletic physique - abs and arms are fairly prominent. under his left shoulderblade, hawk has visible knotted skin from an old war wound.

FASHION

if there's one thing hawk spends money on besides booze, it's clearly his wardrobe. his meticuously maintained closet is chock full of finely tailored three-piece suits, oxfords on vintage shoe cedar tree stretchers, cufflinks, ties, trench coats, and fedora hats. he's most comfortable in suits and takes great care to coordinate everything from head to toe. he tends to favor the typical navys, blues, and grays of a political man in the 50s. according to the costumer for fellow travelers, everything was authentic and matches his personality: from his more expensive preference for boxers down to his undershirts.

hawk is always dressed for the occasion - whether it calls for tuxedos or something more casual, but it never gets too creative or draws more attention than necessary. when he's not going anywhere formal, he'll forego ties, and he also favors aviators and monogrammed accessories like his belt and cufflinks. when things wind down or he's in more "safe" atmospheres among friends or the cozy corner, he also doesn't mind unwinding.

for more casual attire, he tends to dress like a vintage grandpa - plaids, slacks, utilitarian jackets.

DEMEANOR

hawk is everything he's meant to be on the surface: a suave, debonair, confident, charming, and politely civil politico of the 1950s. he's often neutral and vague in his commentary, controlled and measured in letting his actions and motivations remain hidden and kept internal while engaging. he has an extremely dry sense of humor, occasionally sarcastic and a little biting. he's also not above making a few raunchy insinuations here or there in the right company among friends. to the average dc politician or member of his circle in the social world of senator smith and the joe alsop's of the world, he's what every upstanding, reliable and reasonable man of the times is supposed to be.

beneath his cool exterior, however, is a man who is equal measures full of wounded vulnerability and ruthless survival instincts that have shaped everything he is today. hawk carries a secret that he neither feels guilty for nor regrets - he's a gay man who is actively working to undermine senator mccarthy, roy cohn, and all of their governmental cronies who are working to flush out "deviants" and subversives from washington. there is only one man in washington he trusts: senator smith, and he keeps his cards extremely close to his chest.

hawk is not above throwing those in his way under the bus - he can pretend to be as bloodthirsty and judgmental of the very same life he leads in the dark, and he only does it by keeping things no-strings and getting in and out as fast as possible with strangers. tim laughlin is the first person who unlocks the softer side of hawk: a man who enjoys cuddling together after sex, who wants to listen to him talk about his family tree, who will gladly learn everything about tim but still wants to protect his own machinations and is forced to bifurcate and balance each side of his "life".

for all the seemingly bad things he does, none of it is so black and white: it's either to protect himself or someone he cares about like tim, senator smith, or the greater good. he certainly doesn't fancy himself a hero, at least not beyond the man who smiles and keeps favors up his sleeves to cash in at the right time and can keep doing it because he's a revered war hero and self-proclaimed "bulletproof", "irresistible" man. good luck unlocking his traumatic lore!!

VOICE

EXAMPLE 1 - humorous

EXAMPLE 2 - casual

EXAMPLE 3 - private/soft

EXAMPLE 4 - angry

EXAMPLE 5 - flirtatious

MAGIC & TELEPATHY

hawk is a normal human and i'm open to characters with magical and telepathic abilities reading him, but please ask me ooc-ly to plot for it beforehand!

here are a few things they'd be able to glean off the surface:
✮ anything from the appearance section/basic info
✮ lives in washington dc
✮ works for the state department as a mid-level bureaucrat
✮ attended ivy league university of pennsylvania & majored in political science
✮ war hero - earned a bronze star as a sergeant during wwii, stationed in velletri, italy
✮ speaks fluent english, passable italian and german
✮ reveres senator smith like a father

these things are more deeply protected and actively being hidden:
✮ despite his mask of a model law-abiding citizen, hawk is a gay man
✮ likes young men with dark hair and delicate features
✮ doesn't feel shame or any guilt for his preferences
✮ will do anything to protect himself and those he cares for
✮ big survival instinct
✮ comes from money, momma's boy + poor relationship with his father
✮ registered republican with actual liberal leanings but doesn't vote
✮ doesn't believe in religious institutions or god
✮ was shot during the war by a krupp k5
✮ had ptsd - spent a few months recovering in delaware

CODE BY TESSISAMESS

𝙾𝙾𝙲 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂

CONTACT: pm!

ACTIVE TIMES/PACE: cst time zone, mainly free in the evenings + weekends

BRACKETS/PROSE: brackets for action preferred but can match!

BACKTAGGING: absolutely!! backtagging is my bff. also if for some reason i've missed a tag or haven't replied in some time please feel free to check in, chances are i either never received a notif or got swallowed by life but am still interested.

THREADHOPPING: yes from canonmates, otherwise ask if needed but most likely yes!

FOURTHWALLING: ok with general politics stuff but not true fourthwalling - ask if needed!

TRIGGERS: none off the top of my head

𝙸𝙲 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂

PHYSICAL AFFECTION: flirtation is completely fair game! friendly gestures from women will be reciprocated on the surface, but hawk is a closeted gay man who lived through the lavender scare and mccarthyism in the 50s so everything will be extremely surface level.

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE: ask first, but sure. hawk is a ww2 decorated army veteran so he definitely knows his way around a fight if needed.

TRIGGERS: fellow travelers is a historical fiction based around several decades of us politics and eras. the main things that have affected hawk directly are anti-gay sentiments and homophobia, closeted living, drug and alcohol usage/abuse, death of a child, and the aids crisis of the 80s. if there's anything you'd prefer not be mentioned in a thread feel free to let me know ahead of time and i will make sure to avoid it. hawk himself doesn't really have any ic triggers other than the death of his son down the line in the 70s and is pretty good at masking most things, but if you'd prefer to opt out entirely based on the canon please also feel free to comment below.

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[KINK LIST]

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 03:49:43 GMT

kink list

both
receiving only
giving only

FAVES	YES	MAYBE	NO
anal sex bath/shower sex biting blindfolds clothed sex consensual cum milking cumshots daddykink dirty talking discipline doggy style facefucking fellatio footplay frotting hair pulling handcuffs light/medium bondage multiple orgasms nipple play orgasm control/denial phone sex public/exhibitionism restraints roleplay rimming scent kink sexual exhaustion smoking socks/stockings soft cum facials spanking teasing ties uniforms voyeurism	ass worship begging breath control cherry-popping/virginity cock/balls worship cock slapping condoms face slapping facesitting flogging/whipping food play gags handjobs ice inexperienced partners kissing leash & collar masturbation nipple play objectification sadism/masochism scratching sexual frustration sexual pain sex toys sexy/slutty clothing size differences strip tease snowballing wax play	anal sex bloodplay chastity cock/balls worship crossdressing dubious consent drug/alcohol use fellatio fighting/wrestling heavy/extreme bondage humiliation latex/rubber leather master/slave non-sexual pain pegging photography/taping rimming sex toys sounding vaginal sex verbal abuse watersports	castration cunnilingus diapers enemas gaping genital torture infantilism inflation knotting lactation menses necrophilia nonconsensual prolapse scat teenagers underage vomiting vore zoophilia

code

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[SALTBURNT VOYEUR APP]

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 18:54:04 GMT

HAWKINS Z. FULLER

NOTES: 1950s war hero, govt. bureaucrat & closeted gay man. likes: good whiskey, smoking, speakeasies, brunette twinks, & avoiding catching feelings.

			THREAT LEVEL		

			LIKABILITY LEVEL
		
			SCANDAL LEVEL
		
			FASHION LEVEL
		
			WEALTH LEVEL

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[SALTBURNT INBOX]

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 18:34:20 GMT

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
HZF

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[SALTBURNT APP]

Sat, 08 Jun 2024 06:18:28 GMT

OUT OF CHARACTER

PLAYER NAME: jen, she/her
CONTACT: stilettoed
CURRENT CHARACTERS: also apping the cat king, counted
TRIGGERS: n/a

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: hawkins z. fuller
CHARACTER AGE: mid-30s
CHARACTER CANON: fellow travelers (showtime tv version)
CANON POINT: episode 5, 1954, a bit before he breaks up with tim and proposes to lucy
ABILITIES: he is a normal human, though he is a veteran and a war hero

SURVEY

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER'S SOCIOECONOMIC BACKGROUND? WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO WEALTH?:
hawk was raised in a very wealthy family - and with that wealth came expectations. he was a tennis star throughout high school, and it's implied he was well behaved until the moment his father discovered him on his knees with his tennis partner and first love - kenneth ward. from there his relationship with his father completely deteriorated, and hawk did as much as he could to distance himself from his family, aside from his mother. he was essentially taken in by senator smith at some point, growing up around their equally wealthy family and closeting himself once more. hawk has his own job at the state department as a self-declared mid-level bureaucrat, which comes with enough freedom to go under the radar but still have some measure of influence in the political world and collect favors. when offered the opportunity to return home to receive his sizeable inheritance in exchange for apologizing to his father for embarrassing him by rumours of his homosexuality, hawk essentially tells him to fuck off and walks out on the money. to him, the principle is more important. however, he's not above using money to bribe others - cops, other politicians, and victims of bad men in power to help even out the score. ultimately money is a comfort and something he's used to, but excessive wealth is merely a backdrop to him or a tool to accomplish something

WHAT WOULD/DID YOUR CHARACTER MAJOR IN?:
hawk attended the prestigious ivy league university of pennsylvania, likely majoring in political science

WHAT IS THE MOST INTERESTING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR CHARACTER?:
hawk was a war hero in world war two, leading a squad as a sergeant in velletri, italy. he was able to defend against a team of germans with heavy artillery, though he lost two men and was severely wounded in the process. after his recovery and subsequent overcoming of trauma and ptsd thanks to senator smith letting him hide out away from polite society, he joined the state department and works to bring down senator joseph mccarthy and his team including roy cohn and g. david schine amid the lavender scare

DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER USING ONE SONG FROM THE EARLY 2000S:
hinder - better than me

NAME 1-3 VICES YOUR CHARACTER INDULGES IN:
smoking, overindulgence of alcohol, and casual sex

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER'S LIQUOR OF CHOICE?:
glen mhor scotch whisky on the rocks

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER LIKE THEIR EGGS?:
fried eggs

IF YOUR CHARACTER HAD TO DRINK SOMEONE'S DIRTY BATHWATER, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?:
timothy laughlin. hawk says in as many words that he fell for tim the moment he saw him - and it's true in the way he breaks every single one of his rules (to only hook up once and never get personal or intimate with his fucks). he opens up to tim in ways he's never done with anyone else, even if part of him is still extremely closed off and protective. but throughout the series it's obvious how much he loves tim and has a decades-long attraction to him. he has several moments where power and the inherent masculinity of scent and tim's body clearly capture him, so he'd definitely drink his dirty bathwater

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[NEW TRAVELERS AU]

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 00:48:43 GMT

NEW TRAVELERS

my sins are no longer secret - my flaws have never been more fatal.

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[POLITICAL AIDE AU]

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 03:17:01 GMT

AKA MATT BOMERCEPTION

a diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

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[UNI AU]

Sat, 23 Dec 2023 05:56:21 GMT

CAMBOY UNI AU

tell me and i forget, teach me and i remember.

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[OPEN POST]

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 02:54:45 GMT

open for prompts, plotting, overflow! ♥

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[IC INBOX]

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 02:36:06 GMT

text ✮ voice ✮ video

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