[SPOIL OF WAR AU]

[homosexuals]

SPOIL OF WAR AU

after all we all are prisoners. of our memories, our desires, our limitations, our disappointments… in the end we are terribly tragic creatures.

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➤ 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟

[apologetics]

[ for all his time holed up in the palace walls of washington, for all the books that timothy laughlin has read about war, treaties, battles, trade, politics - he's never experienced something quite like this. a land to the far east, a territory once under the purview of king smith and his court, rose up in rebellion, trying to claim farmland and distant oil repositories for their own use. it had started quietly - rumors of men sneaking across the border at night, codes whistled in open air with no source, notes left behind, marks in the sand.

overnight all hell broke lose - dozens of hundreds of men from either territory fighting mercilessly, and for what? a strip of land that tim, for all his trust and care of king smith, knows the king himself hasn't seen in years. they don't often travel to the borderlands, where the territorial rules blur and the lines turn various shades of gray. he remembers too well standing in the court council, looking over maps and making plans for deployment alongside the others when the news came.

a single man had brought all of the conflict to an end, and by some miracle, saved majority of the soldiers on both sides.

it's the very man that tim has walked in on now, and even from a distance when he'd watched the guards parade in the prisoner-turned-offering, he'd found himself struck by the man's stoicism, by the cut of his jaw, the striking blue of his eyes, and the hair dark as coal he's sure when washed free of the dirt and blood from battle.

a hero. tim heard the whispers and saw the gleam of admiration in the king's eye. the man brought here from the battlefield both as the spoils of a great conflict (before his intervention, nearly a thousand men perished), but also as an offering of peace. tim realizes a little too late that he's stood in the doorway overlong, peering in at the high, arching rooms fit for a prince. tim himself had worked tirelessly to be sure the arrangements were made for the most ornate fabrics and lush furniture he could offer.

this man will marry my daughter, the king had told him, after all. and it is tim's job to wait upon hand and foot of those with even fingerprint on the throne. ]

Hawkins Fuller, from the East?

[ he doesn't sound sheepish or shy, even if his posture seems almost apologetic in the way he interrupts. after all, the man had only just been brought to these rooms unceremoniously by the guards who seemed to have missed all the context required for handling of this guest.

tim steps into the room past the guards, finally, and smiles at them, giving them a nod that tumbles loose curls into his face. a gold clip, elegant as a tree's branch in fall, having slipped from his bustling and commotion. the curls cascade down his back, landing just at its middle where the sash nipping in the deep crimson of his robs falls loose behind him, trailing the pool of expensive fabric, rich and light, with the king's sigil just above the breast bone. his bare feet make soft taps on the tile as he shuts the main door behind himself and turns again to regard hawk, a hand subconsciously rising to adjust the thin, round, gold glasses atop his nose. they glint in the warm light of the room as he turns to survey the lodgings. ]

Don't think badly of them - they weren't told you are an honored guest and resident. I'll see to it you're not handled so poorly again - and I've called for your bathing pool to be heated for you, if you'd like? You must be tired? A hot bath is always refreshing to me after a long day, but. Well.

It's incredible what you've done - the King wishes to show his gratitude in any way that he may.

[ tim steps into the room, and from under one arm he pulls out a parchment wrapped flower - a vibrant violet dahlia. ]

It's customary here to offer a gift to a new resident of the household - mine is very simple, but I have no doubt you'll be inundated with gifts before too long. Oh. Sorry. I'm Counselor Timothy Laughlin - advisor to his majesty and his daughter the royal princess.

[ he gives a little bow in greeting, which makes the ornate hairpin fall loose altogether, the gold clattering to the floor between them. ]

[homosexuals]

[the title of war hero among an enemy was not an easy feat to win. hawkins fuller had never been striving for it, instead just trying to survive and protect as many of his own squadron of men and his fellow eastern countrymen in the heat of a battle he neither supported nor wished to endure. king smith had always been a fair ruler to them before the border skirmishes and the tentative rebellions that had split him away from their land, now spearheaded by a young and power-hungry man of good fortune and none of the politics that made for a sensible and sharp leader to maintain such a feat. not to say that hawk was a traitor against his unfortunate placement here among the people he'd grown up with - never, and he'd gone to war as expected of a highborn son with land and a title to defend, no matter what distance between his own father and the lack of inheritance due his way under current unexpected circumstances.

this hadn't been without heartache. he'd lost his only friend and confidant - a man he respected, maybe even grew to love along the way - kenneth ward. slaughtered at first brush with smith's army after he'd foolishly followed out of an obligation to his family name, restoring his honor, and to be near hawk himself. that's a guilt that will never wash away, not even after he'd saved the lives of his own men and the opposing army and single-handedly managed to bring an end to the bloodshed and battles. the ironic bit? a letter had arrived, signed from estelle fuller earlier this morning letting him know his father had passed before news broke of their victory, of hawk's achievement. it only made him laugh freely and without bitterness, because his father would find a way to die and never allow hawk the satisfaction of proving him wrong in passing judgment that hawk would never be the kind of man he'd respect or love.

well, now he's about to meet a princess. to take mentorship from the wise tutelage of a man he's always respected and wished to do well under the hand of in a glorious kingdom made that much stronger from their newly restored territory. even if his hands bore no chains and there are guards all but hauling him into the luxurious quarters of a man above his station, he doesn't feel much like a prisoner. only when they've marched away does he realize how bone tired he is now that the roar of battle cries and clatter of shields, the rush of swords swinging through the air and the vitality of life itself bursting beneath his skin has ceased. he's still filthy from his last action - covered in dirt and crusted blood, though little of it is his own. a bath - or even just a dip into one of the rivers would do him well before the feast and his meeting to a woman he has only heard of that is to become his betrothed.

so he's surprised to see someone else standing in his apparently chambers, fit practically for the king himself with a view worth a thousand words and lush materials that made the room at his former family home look closer to a pigsty. and even moreso to see that the rich, chestnut waves that rest near a trim waist belongs to a man rather than an elegant woman of the court. hawk finds himself momentarily struck by the beauty of him - delicate skin with a pale, olive undertone. dark charcoal smeared along the rims of his lashes, long and elegant hands that reach up to press his lenses closer so hawk can see honey in the reflection from the sunlight streaming through the open archway. one step inside, and hawk sees the flash of hard muscle from his legs - toned enough that he might have sooner fit well as a soldier.

his gaze lingers equally longer than it should, lips pulling into an amused and confident smile.]

You know my name.

[curious, when mere weeks ago his father seemed determined everyone might forget it.]

And you welcome me so freely as if you are a mere servant, when I can tell by the cut of your robe and that sigil you are far more intelligent to be here heating my baths.

[he tips his head, tone light and teasing.]

Though I can't say I'm not eternally grateful. I like the sound of that.

[hawk watches him pull out the flower, struck by what a humble and altogether sweet gesture it is, customary or otherwise. he steps in, aware he must utterly reek of sweat and blood and dirt, but finding himself drawn to this man all the same.]

Counselor Laughlin. A pleasure.

You brought me a gift - thanks for an achievement any man with a shred of honor would have done were he in my shoes.

[carefully he plucks it from tim's fingers, twirling it slightly and marveling at the vibrance of its color before his gaze drags back up to tim's eyes - somehow all the more bewitching this close. he's distracted from his reverie when he hears the ding of something heavy at their feet, glancing down and seeing the pretty hair piece still bouncing into place on the floor.]

Allow me.

[he bends to one knee, reaching to pick up the delicate trinket and lean back slightly, dipping down to meet tim's gaze.]

May I?

[put it back where it belongs.]

[apologetics]

[ there are thousands of ways an interaction such as this could go, really, and tim is already far too aware of the fact that he can talk overlong when a little nervous. well - it isn't exactly nervous so much as it is undying, dogged curiosity. of course he's read everything he coudld get his hands on about this man, but even those tales seem a little too far fetched to match the utter ikon of a man before him.

he does not often allow himself to look at others, really, considering his job and duties. he doesn't allow himself the distractions of the flesh as often as he did when he was younger, but even now, his tastes have changed. whereas he dallied with fair-faced girls in his younger years, sometimes he steals evenings away in little lodgings with firmer bodies, more angled faces - men, with deeper voices and stronger hands.

it's impossible to deny that hawkins fuller is beautiful, of course, even smudged in filth and smelling like the long journey, cooked in the sun. yes, a hot bath is exactly what this man needs. ]

I am always a servant of the Crown, my lord, there's never doubt to that. You are part of that care now as well, even though I'm sure the guards made you feel otherwise. They'll relax in time - everyone will.

[ perhaps he is highly revered, paid well, given titles - but it does not stop him from making sure rooms are arranged appropriately, making sure waters are warm when needed, food arrives on time, clothes set out, etc. there's more to his job than simple politics. ]

So it's natural that I know your name. I was at the war table when we first heard it, just as we were planning our next course of action. You brought everything to - ah

[ a little pause as the hairpiece hits the ground. he's never so disheveled, but everything has been so harried and hurried since the announcement of hawk's arrival - he's hardly had a moment to breathe. it shows then, in the way he nearly dips to reach for the hairpiece, but pauses, blinking up at the dark haired man, surprise.

a man such as hawkins fuller on bended knee to him, for one, but he's startled by the cool colors in his eyes. yes, he can smell the dirt, the sweat, the blood on him, but it fazes him not. he grew up in a struggle-rife territory, so it's nothing new, but somehow it makes his blood run a little hotter here, makes something flip warm and pleasant in his stomach.

it's wrong, that he's feeling this. that he can feel prickles of heat up his spine, or the way the faintest red works its way into the high points of his cheek. ]

Oh. [ this man will be king one day, and strangely, even in these brief moments, something in him trusts that he will be a good one. ] If you'd - I've no objections, but please, do not feel - I should have been paying more attention, so -

[ a sigh, a wrinkle of his nose. he can't shake the strange, electricity on the air. ]

Please. It's kind of you.

[homosexuals]

[it could be hours, and hawk thinks he'd be quite content to hear anything counselor laughlin had to say on any matter. there's a certain melodic note to both his voice and the cadence of his revelations - clearly a knowledgeable man as much as he is fetching to look at. that sort of combination leaves quite the impression on hawk, and if he were to stop and peel past the exhaustion and filth and look closely inward, he'd be able to see it's an even deeper one than even kenneth had on him. kenneth was all things light and sweet and lovely, of course, but he was much too soft for the battlefield and far too trusting of others to ever survive in the world of politics. there's something about tim that feels sturdier, firmly planted here in a way that speaks to how he's earned his place among a kingdom that isn't even his.]

Don't worry - it's no offense of your own, or even of the King's for their behavior. I'm under no illusion that I was - maybe still am - an enemy of the crown as of...hm, say half a day's time, give or take?

[but he sounds a little amused by the whole thing, an ease about the fact that in many other circumstances he'd be more akin to a prisoner of war, having all his freedoms taken away by shackling him - no matter how trussed up it is - in the form of a delicate hand and a marriage that will theoretically unite their kingdoms as surely as it dooms him to his own fate. a duty he must take on, because if he doesn't? too many lives are at stake. no one wants war, insurrectionists and more bloodshed in the countryside and near the borders. it's a few years of learning the customs, not that unlike their own, for they were once borne of this kingdom anyway - of hiding his true nature until he has the throne and ironically the freedom is restored to a degree requiring delicacy and discretion.

would tim still be here? he finds himself idly wondering when he reaches that ascension - would this man serve him as surely as he serves smith? it's a reassuring idea for a number of reasons, especially when he looks him in the eyes and sees nothing but reverence and a dogged honesty that is easy to tell when he's looked at so many others and seen scorn, falsehoods, underlying agendas. this is rare, especially among the politically inclined elite. that, and the fact that he does not look down on duties that would be better suited to a chambermaid or even the barbaric guards who would rather wield muscle and little else of intelligent life.

there's nothing disheveled then, in hawk's opinion - moreso just further evidence of how immersed tim makes himself in his duties. yet another honorable pursuit. and when he bends down to retrieve it, there is a moment that brings them both impossibly closer together - enough that he can smell something slightly spiced and see a light dusting of sun-kissed spots along the bridge of his nose, beneath the delicate frames perched there. there's a beautiful shimmer in his long waves - flecks of gold, hair oil of some kind? up close he looks like an ethereal being that men like him would sooner throw their lives away for, belonging at the very least on a dais in his own country. hawk knows the sensation the moment it shifts between them, something warm and undeniable in the way it feels like he might pluck it out of the air and feel the tension between his blood-stained hands.

the flush looks all too alluring on him, and hawk offers only the slightest of knowing, appreciative smirks before he reaches for the small hair clip all the same and stands so he can offer tim his hand, dirty as it is to help him rise back up.]

No objections at all. In fact, it's my pleasure.

[his palm doesn't linger so as not to offend, noting that it's a strong grip all the same, before he reaches to lightly brush back some of tim's chestnut waves from his shoulder and twisting them lightly so he might push the clip back and keep them out of the way.]

There. Perfect.

[it's not the hair he means, either. it's - everything, really, if the way his gaze shifts from head to toe across tim. there's no motion to step away, though he does turn towards the waiting bath.]

I wonder - if I haven't taken up much of your time already Counselor, if you'd join me at my bathside. I have much to learn before I meet Smith and his daughter for dinner, and you seem the right man for the job.

[apologetics]

[ the air around them seems to grow hot and heady, charged with something that timothy laughlin hasn't felt before in an encounter like this. were they out on the streets, in one of the many pubs or shanties, he might try to form something out of it. he might try and press and prod and earnestly seek the sensation at its source. but here? here he can do nothing but blink in wonder at the man, taking his dirty hand with ease and rising back up to his feet.

there's a press of his fingers as their hands part for the sake of propriety, but they stand closer now than they had but moments ago. other nobles and counselors might balk at having the remnants of blood, dirt and sweat on their own hands, but it's familiar to tim. it always will be.

but there's a smirk on hawk's face, an appraisal made in the cool blue of his eyes and tim wonders if the bath water may be warm enough already for such a man. he can feel the way the heat settles in his cheeks, the way it creeps slowly to his ears as that same filthy hand from before delicately twines his hair to fit within the clip. it is perfect - how he knew the height, the placement, everything, to keep the loose curls from falling across his brow when he reads, tim can't help but marvel.

he should not be considering how those hands might feel in his own, or tangled into the curls instead of the clip. this man will be princess lucy's husband, will be king. he is not some piece of meat to seek out, though as hawk's eyes drag over him from head to toe, he finds the thought escaping him altogether. ]

You're very kind.

[ he smiles on a little, baffled huff, a hand reaching to touch the clip and feel the way it's settled. hawkins fuller has wooed many a woman before, if this is how easily he manages accessories like this. it's what he must tell himself to cool the heat that has begun to creep toward the line of his throat. they stand so close still, and the honey brown of his own eyes finally lifts to hawk's face. ]

Mm. You are no enemy of the Crown, my lord. [ there's an honest urgency there, and he shakes his head, a hand reaching to steady against his forearm to emphasize his point. ] And should anyone make such accusations, you inform me immediately. It is your doing that bloodshed has stopped, a ceasefire called and although the circumstances may be complicated, I assure you that the Crown is grateful for what you have done.

[ he shakes his head and pulls his hand back then, smiling a little sheepishly, shaking his head. ]

I forget myself. My apologies. I - yes, your bath. I will join you, of course - and you may utilize me at your will. King Smith has asked I be your advisor, to help you learn the ways of our court and to assist you in anything you may need here.

[ he takes a half step back to round hawk toward the large bathing pool that settles in the back center of the room. it's covered by gauzy, expensive drapery, allowing the light to filter in from broad, clear glass in the ceiling above. tim always loved these rooms, and when he first arrived in the castle as a young man, he'd dreamt about a room like this, with its wide, expensive bed and filling the whole room with shelves of books and artwork.

his accommodations are meager and humble - he's been given everything out of generosity by the king himself, of course, and he would never complain. but the romantic in him loves the elegance of this room with its wide windows and hearth, the bright ceiling looking upon the sky in day and night. tim thinks, suddenly, he will have to ask the court decorator to be sure there are vibrant flowers in here, fresh and hand arranged every week.

hawk may not like them - he'll have to ask. but it would be a beautiful backdrop to the cool darkness of a man such as he. ]

Come. There's a changing screen, should you wish it and I will of course keep your privacy until you are well and settled. Bath oils and soaps on the edge, and ah - let me stoke the flames a moment yes? It will warm up by the time you're ready.

[ he smiles sweetly, settling down his papers and journal to one side before he traverses to a small, built in furnace burning off to one side. scooping the fabric of his robes behind him and pushing his sleeves to his elbows, he bends, unknowingly revealing more of the strong line of his thigh as he uses an iron poker to stoke the embers so he may add another log. ]

If there are scents you prefer, or things you need, please you must just tell me. I want you to be comfortable here.

➤ 𝑖 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟

[apologetics]

[ there are notes hidden in a journal that tim keeps in the little study he's been granted just near his chamber. its where he sits with hawk most days, talking through politics and policies and histories he doesn't know.

it's innocuous enough that no one will bother to look at it - the first half is all notes on books and tomes ands scrolls, but later? notes left for someone particular with curious, ice-blue eyes. and today, a note: ]

There was a merchant in the city this morning who had a basket of apples that were so red you'd think someone painted them.
He said they're from one of the territories - where you're from.
I've left one beneath your pillow.
I'm afraid I couldn't afford more.

[homosexuals]

[there are days where hawk's immersion in the culture of the smith kingdom leaves little room for him to sit with counselor laughlin. days focused on honing swordsmanship, trainings that leave him sore and sweaty and not fit for proper company or the delicate spines of books and brittle pages.

those are the days he finds himself aching for something else altogether, stealing glances in the hall where he can, or even dropping in during his mealtime when tim is occupied with his other duties to steal a glance at his notes for the day. sometimes he even leaves a few of his own behind, his own penmanship a looping slope of continual ink.]

Those are hard to come by - it's no wonder they cost a pretty penny. One was plenty thoughtful; you have my utmost thanks.

But it's funny, when I looked at the rich shade of red there was only one thing I found my thoughts drawn towards. Your lips, the other day when you'd worried them between your teeth. It was during our analysis of the North and South Schism - you seemed troubled, but I could hardly pull away my gaze.

It was hard not to let my mind wander while I ate it. The perfect amount of sweetness in the juice, crisp and revitalizing in its surprising firmness. Just like you.

Until our next session, Counselor.

[tim will find another apple of the same vibrance next to his journal - an offering that he shouldn't miss out on such a delicacy either.]

[apologetics]

[ the note and the apple are a welcome surprise. tim laughlin does not often receive gifts. in fact, gifts are better left for the king, the princess, or the royal betrothed, hawk himself. ]

I am always troubled by conflict between kingdoms. It's my duty.
In the future, perhaps I'll try to find something a little more mundane to worry over, so as not to distract you from your lessons.

All the same, you should be mindful what you commit to writing.
Though your penmanship is elegant, bold, confident. It's handsome to the eye, but there is something untamed in it.
You must have a very steady hand.

Who did you send after the apple? You'd best not have left the walls without guard.
All the same, I will have to judge your assessment of the apple myself when next we meet - we'll halve it.
I assume that's how it would be, were we to have found the tree ourselves in your land.

[homosexuals]

That simply means you have not lost your heart while you adhere to these duties. No distraction on my part, just an observation. A welcome one, so please feel no obligation to change the subject matter. It's better for me to know it all, isn't it? The things that keep you up at night, the things you respect and have gathered from your time here.

I've always been too smart for my own good. At least, that's what my countrymen used to say. And my hands - those have always been sure.

And speaking of hands - one thing to learn about me, Counselor Laughlin, is that I have no fear in using mine when required. To pluck an apple, barter with a vendor, tap one of the friendlier guards on the shoulder and regale them with tales of the old Washington as we take a stroll.

Consider me eagerly awaiting your opinion. Shall I find something else to whet your appetite in the meantime?

[apologetics]

If you lose your heart then there is no need for duty is there? The blind cannot be loyal or dutiful if they do not feel for what they follow. I will always worry about conflicts near and far, as it is my job to keep the finger on the pulse of it, especially if it is in reaches that we do not see.

After all, who do you think it was that sent the messenger to the battlefield to watch your victory?
Your land has spoken highly of you for some time.

[ but oh. he mentions hands? ]

I have no doubt your hands are capable, my lord. I have seen you wield a greatsword in training and I have witnessed first hand how nimbly you may even tie the most unruliest hair back, and with such grace.

Be mindful, else I might suspect you of treason since you are so skilled and capable with those hands. Though I'm certain you may find something in our fields to satisfy my appetite.
I forget meals often, if I'm honest.
But I wish to wait on this apple - as I said. Another time.

[homosexuals]

Wise ideals to live by. But take care - conflicts don't always begin in blind spots. Sometimes it begins right under your nose. Don't think me suggesting anything concrete on this account - merely cautious.

That was you? Well, you must not have had the opportunity to speak to my father on that account. Small favors, hm?

Full of surprises, Counselor Laughlin. You're watching my training sessions? Perhaps next time you should make your presence known. Or - come and have a roll on the hay mats with me yourself. Those muscles weren't built from mere book reading.

Sending me on a quest to find forbidden fruit? I'll gladly accept. Do I get a hint?

Well, if you're to serve my needs while I'm here then I'm going to have to insist you accompany my meals from now on. You can't be tending to the kingdom's assets on an empty stomach.

Not another time. Next time.

[apologetics]

Do you think I'm so green behind my ears, Master Fuller? I watch foreign conflict as closely as I watch the chambermaid's daughter who merely sweeps the kitchens. But otherwise it is not my place to speak to those in power. I stand at the King's side and give my report to him when it is appropriate.

Just as with your training. You'll be marrying Princess Lucy, after all. If you cannot fight on her behalf then you can be no King. I report my findings to the King himself, if I deem it necessary.

You are being too

It would not be appropriate for either of us to have a roll on the mats. I'm no warrior - I have no skills in the arena. I have no desire to be made into a mockery. I cannot compete with someone like you.

Are you considering yourself an asset of the Kingdom, then? Washington thanks you for your kind contributions. So next time, perhaps you can ask for cherries? Or cheese. I shouldn't use you to my ends, but those foods are reserved for Kings, mind you.

The guards will laugh at your requests. The cherry trees are in the borderlands - we don't see them here often. So yes, Master Fuller. Another time.

[homosexuals]

Oh, I wouldn't dare insult your intelligence, Counselor Laughlin. But if the King is wise - which I know he is - then he'd heed your opinions rather than mere reports.

And? What have you found of my worthiness thus far? It's good to know where I stand. Not for the Princess, but because I'd like to know.

No skills - that's a bit of a stretch. I'm told you were trained as well as any other strapping young man in this kingdom. Not extensively, but enough to surely have a go-around. I'd never dream of making it an unfair competition - more like satisfying an idle curiosity.

Of course not. I'm here to serve the King, like any other citizen.

Cherries. A fine alternative to the apples - sweeter, if I recall. Can you do the trick? I knew a man once - could tie the stem with his tongue.

Another time. Might be just around the corner.

[as if hawk isn't going to make it his sole mission to obtain these things in as little time as possible. even if he needs to ask it of smith himself.]

[apologetics]

Of course the King hears my opinions. I've worked hard to earn his trust in that regard, and I work closely with him. But I never assume that my opinions will hold weight. He is the King, after all.

I've not made an official opinion on you yet, Master Fuller. I have noted you seem to assimilate well. You learn quickly, you fight with confidence. Your understanding of foreign politics is strong, and though you lack courtly knowledge, that won't stand in your way of making strong judgements. Your table manners leave something to be desired, I've yet to see you dance, and I think you could stand to read a little more, but who am I to judge.

Princess Lucy will be the one to truly appraise you. If it were up to me alone, then I would not argue much.

Less sweet, more tart. I used to have them with a bowl of cream, when I was permitted. I was younger then, and life awarded me more pleasantries. Now it is all work. And I don't know what trick you speak of. That's obscene.

Do you have a favorite fruit? Or a meal? Is there anything from your home you long for?
As I said - for me, it is cherries.
I hope to make you comfortable here in as much as I am able to.

[homosexuals]

You've done well for yourself. Anyone can see that - but I wonder if they see how truly valuable you and the wealth of knowledge you've worked to learn are. If it were up to me, you'd be among the crown jewels. But it isn't. Not yet.

And it might never be, if I don't take your notations to heart. I'm not much for dancing - though I hope that's not enough to cause another foreign dispute. You seem fairly confident in judging, and my Mother would be disappointed to know her good dining etiquette doesn't traverse into the old lands.

Still. I think I'd rather it rest in your capable hands.

Young age is full of them - until it isn't. Rest assured, that's a shared sentiment. But it hardly seems fair to leave you without some now, or at the very least - time to yourself. A lack of meals, no more pleasantries...some might consider that barbaric.

No need to hope for that when you've already managed to accomplish it. The apple was a very pleasant surprise, for which you have my thanks. I like the things most men do - grapes, the drinks derived from grain and rye and wild meat. Now the only thing that might comfort me is to return the favor.

Maybe you might even learn a little something obscene out of it. I know it too.

[apologetics]

My value is only in the eyes of the King. I am happy here in this court, serving his majesty and his family. I take pride in my work and the freedoms I'm allowed due to my commitment to the Crown. I am much happier that I am neither seen nor heard unless I'm asked for. King Smith is kind, generous, thoughtful, and compassionate. He is truly a King of his people - his crown is their hearts, not jewels.

I prefer it that way.

Your dining isn't terrible - but it's evident you are a soldier who has lived a soldier's life for some time. You eat as though we will not feed you again. I can assure you that your belly will always be as full as you wish for it to be.

I'm certain I could ask for liberties or favors but I do not make a habit of it. I am a mere citizen of the Kingdom, sir. You are a glorified heir apparent. Our freedoms are different, as are our chains.

Rid the word barbaric from your vocabulary regarding his Highness and the Court. I'm serious. It could not be farther from the truth.



My apologies. I'm tired this afternoon. I hope you saw the grapes I had sent with your lunch? Please, accept them as my penance? I should have known you'd prefer such things, as most men do. I tried not to make any assumptions, and I suppose I have anyway, what with the apple, and all. I will be more mindful in the future.



You can tie a knot? Impossible.

[homosexuals]

He is. That's why he had my respect long before I encouraged a ceasefire - if it were up to me, we'd never have left his kingdom in the first place. What an eloquent way to sum it up: hearts, not jewels. But I only wonder - if this title is bestowed to me in time, what will you do if I ask for you more frequently?

Duly noted. But know it's not for a lack of meals, rather an urgency not to keep my back turned too long. You've heard what they say about old habits. And before you ask: rest assured, it's nothing King Smith or you or any of the staff have done. I merely dislike vulnerability wherever it's to be found.

There you go again - have you ever considered becoming a poet? An artist, perhaps? You have quite the way with words, Counselor. But in many ways, I believe you have more freedoms than you think. More than me, if this all comes to fruition.

Another generous offering. My humble request next time? Is you bring them to me yourself so we might share. And fret not: the apples are secretly my favorite.

Mm. There's only one way to find out. I'm working on it.

[apologetics]

I will serve you if you ask for me, of course. It will be your choice who you keep in your counsel, but I understand that sometimes new faces come along with new kings. I expect nothing, of course. And though I won't fault you one way or the other, rest assured that for now, when you do find some vulnerable spot, I will be certain to already be there guarding it.

It is my duty, of course.

But if you are King you will have access to all the freedoms of the world, though with the weight of a crown on your head. I am happy to call the castle walls my home. I've been told off for being a bit verbose, but I think I've read nearly every book there is to be had in our library.

King Smith has called me a dreamer many times, so a poet wouldn't be far off. Neither are very profitable, Master Fuller, and neither very reasonable. However, bringing you grapes is very reasonable. I'll fetch you anything, all you need is to ask - that is what I'm here for, among other things.

We never have cherries here in court - it's too dangerous to fetch them. The land they lie on is stricken with conflict. I've no doubt you'll encounter them at some point in your travels with the King and his men. You must report to me your findings, and tell me how they taste on your tongue before you try the -

It's a bewitching trick to think about.

[homosexuals]

Well. Consider yourself my first choice, Counselor Laughlin. I wouldn't be where I am today without you, and I don't mean just the stellar education in these walls.

Mm. You would see it that way. Listen, forget I said anything about all that - freedoms, chains. It's a long way off anyway, and King Smith will be with us for many years to come. Until he's old and grey and impossibly wiser than he already is. Though, I'm certain you've had a hand in that. Reading all the books in that library have surely come to good use.

A dreamer? Tell me what you dream of. That's my next ask.

Perhaps that will be my first decree as king. Cherries to be grown in our lands - that, or uniting the land the lie on so there's no danger in retrieving them. And perhaps too it'll be my first suggestion for a visit to the King and his men. All of this training can't simply be just to pass the time.

It is, isn't it? You've never come across it in all your books?

[apologetics]

It's very kind of you, but you are doing the work all on your own.

But ah - no, I won't forget you said anything about it. Sorry. This is why King Smith says I can be a dreamer sometimes, an idealist. You don't want to be King here anymore than you did when you stepped onto the battlefield. In a way, I suppose I could choose my life's path in a way that you can't. I haven't had that freedom myself yet. You don't get to choose, really, when the King chooses for you.

I suppose it's the same for you, in a way.

I dream of peace for this country, for our territories. For King Smith to have a happy, quiet life. For Princess Lucy to have the love she deserves, and for the Kingdom to flourish. Anything any royal subject would dream of.

[ it's code for - i can't put this in writing ]

Your first decree should be far more impactful than cherries. Something that really tells the people who you are and what you stand for. You have great political sense, good ideas - the kingdom will love you. I can tell already.

Ah. You're making fun of me, aren't you? I've never come across it in my books, no. Most of the texts there are histories, battle logs, diaries of generals. No tricks or wizardry. But I didn't read them to simply pass the time. Much like your training.

You should be hard at work in training instead of stealing to my office to scribble notes in my journal. I clearly need to tell the staff to monitor your attendance better.

[homosexuals]

Wouldn't be much work for me to do if you weren't the one doling it out. I'd be sitting pretty eating grapes all day.

[that's a lie, one tim could call him on if he wanted. hawk has been nothing but devoted to his studies and his trainings - if nothing else, he'd be keeping himself in shape by practicing with blades and shields and rolling on the mats with guardsmen who are grudgingly starting to give him some respect for his skill and easy charm.]

You understand it, then. A week ago I was just looking to make it back alive, keep honor among the Fuller name. Now I'm betrothed to the daughter of a King and meant to inherit the whole of a land.

I only find myself wondering what you might do if the King no longer chose. When I am King, is that what you might wish? To have your own path and the freedom to walk it? I would not keep you caged here, Counselor, even if I'd be very sorry to see you go.

[but yes, this does seem to be wading into territory better discussed in person.]

Well, you'll have to think it over. Our next lesson draws closer, but not soon enough for my tastes.

The cherries will have to wait, then. Maybe I might persuade the King to do something about it in the meantime, while I figure out what sort of King I am. The kind that's firm but altogether fair. Caring, even if I'm not blatantly soft about it. That's what the Queen is for, isn't it?

Wouldn't dream of it. Perhaps you're not reading the right kind of books then. There's more out there than mere history.

[in fact, to prove it: hawk has left a small maroon book - bound in elegant leather with gold leafed pages, though uneven. the text is old and worn and clearly hand-written. a collection of poems - mostly epic adventures, but a hint of melancholy and unrequited love.]

Haven't missed a session yet. Go on, ask them. I'm entitled to spend my break as I please, and I please to spend it filling up your journal.

[apologetics]

Forgive me. I know that this life isn't what you planned for yourself. And though I hope no one here treats you as such, it must feel like a glass prison. I hope that you can see the beauty in this land the way I do, one day.

I don't know any other life than this one, really. I'll admit, I was taken under the wing of the court when I was young. It was the Queen who had a soft spot for me, at first. So yes, the Queen is meant for softer things, but don't let that keep your heart from staying soft beneath your armor.

You will certainly need to hear it beat.

I would be happy to stay at your side and remind you of that, when needed. If you will have me. If you will not, I suppose my time in the court would come to an end and I would find humbler work elsewhere.

[ the letter is a little distressing - picking at him for reading so many books, to questioning what he wants out of life if not for the kingdom. tim calls this place home, and maybe that's foolish. of course it is, considering. ]

I hope you are the King you wish to be. I can see the marks of it in you. And thank you - for the book. It's beautiful. Where did you come by this?

[ he wants to read more. to dive into poems and tales and stories he's only truly heard in fireside tales or over dinner in courtier's halls. ]

... all of your attendants have many positive things to say about you. I'm impressed, Master Fuller. I'll reserve my judgement then for a time when you do find my offices during your studies. Our next lesson, perhaps.

[homosexuals]

I see the beauty here, believe me.

[he's not talking about the land, however.]

Suppose there are many who envy your position. But the way I hear it, you're regarded very fondly among most of the court. Even a few young ladies wishing you might take to the dance floors at the feasts - is there such a thing precluding you from taking part in that? I'm certain I'll be expected to do the same, once I'm ready to mingle among polite society with enough grasp of the customs. A month's time from now - isn't it?

A round on that floor will surely have it racing, enough to hear I should think.

[hawk isn't usually much for such pleasantries, which is the ironic part. but there is a piece of him that wants to know and understand tim laughlin on a deer level - to learn his hopes and dreams so he might learn how to serve them as his future king.]

Oh, I'll certainly have you. So long as you don't oppose.

The book - from a friend to pass the time in camp. Admittedly, I never finished all of it.

[he skips the part where it was from kenny, one of his prized possessions and an offering to soothe away boredom and fear and keep sweetness alive among dying men and the stench of the battlefield.]

Well. Then I'll eagerly be awaiting your judgment. Wouldn't dream of taking anything else to heart until you've had the final say, but the attendants are a fine addition to these halls.

Is that an invitation? Will you plan to meet it in person then, the next time my hand itches to wander for a pen?

[apologetics]

I try to find new beauty in this place every day.

[ it is a good thing that most people in this court would never fathom such innuendos to be exchanged among men. but tim's face burns every time he checks his notebook for the elegant scrawl of hawkins fuller.

it's wrong. he's betrothed to lucy. he shouldn't tempt feelings like this, and yet - ]

But yes, you'll be expected to formally join court. I've offered my arm for dances, but I find that it is my work I'm married to. I want my heart to be with the Crown, not distracted or waylaid by such things as courting. I don't want to give anyone false hopes, and I think most people of the court will be bored of me in minutes.

So, I will only oppose you having me if you insist I dance with court ladies. I don't mind dancing, but I'd certainly rather do it on my own terms.

[ he'll think about his own boldness later - you may have me to the insinuation of dances behind closed doors. he'll pray about it all later. ]

The book is beautiful. I've just finished, left it in my desk drawer to return to you. I copied a few of the poems down - it's beautiful. Particularly this -

…he
who listens intimately
to the sweet murmur of
your voice, the enticing
laughter that makes my own
heart beat fast. If I meet
you suddenly, I can't
speak — my tongue is broken.

It isn't an invitation - but should we cross paths at a convenient time, I suppose I have no authority to correct you. Enjoy the day, Master Fuller. It is lovely out, and the cherry blossoms have bloomed.

[homosexuals]

[ah, if only tim knew. no - there were no women to be wooed, no one who he'd practiced such a motion on before. there's never been another besides kenneth, his sweet little knight who had been gone so early on in the battle after following him near immediately after his departure despite insistence otherwise. there's a start when he realizes this might be the first time kenny has felt truly far away, and frankly, a memory of happier times before bloodshed and battlefields made a real man out of him. there is a spark of something else here, something undeniable that he knows better than to comment on so soon even if he wishes to bring it to light and ask if counselor laughlin notices it too.

his fingers linger only for the briefest moment, not wishing to dirty his hair even if he imagines only sisyphus with his rock uphill must have a more difficult task than to pull away from those tempting tendrils of chestnut. hawk takes this stolen moment to bask in the simple pleasure of looking at tim up close - the strong shape of his nose, the slight crease between his brows, his lashes thick and dark behind the slim gold encasing his lenses. what might he look like without those? or with his hair up in a chignon like a fair maiden, wisps of curls falling delicately along his back? the palace is full of rich tapestries, stonework and arches and architecture that would impress someone with even less awareness than hawk - and yet the most enticing thing hawk has seen since he's set foot in here is tim himself.

the moment is all too short-lived when tim steps back and seemingly breaks the trance he'd found himself in, wondering if the other man felt it too up close. maybe he only pulled away from the sheer tension between them, the knowledge that any longer and they both might have done something foolish. or maybe hawk is letting the ideas his father had tried to beat out of him come to the surface, impossible to be broken when a pretty faced brunette is in his line of sight. it's tempting to reach for his hand once more, but if nothing else the way he's soiled at the moment stops him from imposing such filth on a well-dressed man who looks as though he could be a member of the very court hawk is meant to debut at later this week. hawk follows him as if connected by an invisible string, gaze never straying from tim's form even among the sumptuous surroundings that are far more appealing than even his family's abode.

it's hard not to imagine him lounging on a pillow under the sheer flutter of the drapes, stretched out with his head in a book or the papers he dutifully carries. are his chambers so luxurious? they ought to be, if this is the caliber of man he's to be learning from. hawk spares a moment to look up then at the opening in the ceiling, sunlight casting an angelic glow on tim as he kneels down to further ignite the heat of his baths as well as underneath his skin for the way hawk suddenly feels himself drawn to that wide sliver of a muscled thigh and toned legs that he wishes he could feel beneath his fingertips.]

Cinnamon.

[it's out of his mouth before he can stop it - thinking about what he had smelled on tim mere moments ago.]

Cinnamon - spices and musk and all things woodsy, if you might have those on hand.

[hawk saunters forward, bypassing the changing screen altogether and instead pulling off his filthy tunic in one swift motion. there's a mottled gash at the back of his left shoulder, oozing blood from the jagged lines of skin that he doesn't let himself wince at as he keeps moving forward towards the baths - and tim himself - with a determination and a twinkle in his eyes. his hands sling to the belt with his broadsword and smaller knife, his gloves tucked into a pocket and whiskey in a container up back. it's all dropped unceremoniously as hawk stands near the edge of the baths, dragging down leather and chainmail all at once across sweat and blood and firm muscle honed in more than just battle. he offers a wry tip of his head to tim before letting himself take a step into the water, naked as the day he was born without much care for decency or modesty.

what has he to hide, really?

a few more steps and he finds the built in ledge, resting his back against it with a low groan as his head tips back and warm water envelops his body and realizes he's been holding off the aches of the fights for some time now. this is - heavenly. or it would be even moreso if- ]

Come here, Counselor.

[one eye winks open, a hand raising lazily to pat at the ledge near his head.]

It's divine. You ought to feel it yourself, even if it's just to wet your toes while we speak.