homosexuals | [SALTBURNT INBOX]

He is as troublesome at eight and ten as he was at nine.

[ as for the rest — ]

And I of him. I hope you will treat him kindly, as you return to each other.

Circumstances aren't ideal, but...is it a relief? To see him?

That's the plan.

[there's two sides to every story, and it's not indignation or pettiness that has him tacking it on, but alicent's respect isn't something he wants to lose.]

Look, I wouldn't dream of getting between the confidence of a knight and his lady, but...I didn't leave him because I wanted to hurt him. I was trying to protect him, and the easiest way was to keep him away.

It is. I would rather have him here despite the risks, than leave him to face an oncoming war without my guidance.

[ she pauses, considering how to respond. she values hawk’s opinions and skills, especially now that she might have need of his counsel — but she has been in tim’s role more often than not, protected against her will until it was too late. we would not sully you with darkling schemes, your grace, so she fumbled through the quagmire, alone. ]

Your instinct to protect is commendable.
But as someone who has been set aside for the same reasons, I will say to you what I said to them: I never wished to be spared. And if you ignore the desires of those you wish to protect, who are you serving?

[ yourself. ]

Edited 2024-10-01 00:36 (UTC)

It's funny, Tim told me time passes differently even when we're away. I was still there somehow, even after my memories of home end. Maybe he wouldn't have been alone after all. Aemond, isn't it?

[it's not difficult to imagine there's more to alicent being left out. of course a lady of her stature shouldn't be getting her hands dirty - that's what the knights and courtiers and counsellors must be for. it's the same thing he did for senator smith, and that's one thing he knows he wouldn't change.]

I'd rather he resent me than wind up in the crossfire. It's not an easy decision.

But I am trying.

Keeping you on the sidelines seems like a real waste. They ever realize their mistakes?

I hope that is true for us all, then, for the sake of my other children.

[ in the matter of tim, well, trying will hardly be enough, when this place will continue to divide them. aiding it in this aim will not serve. ]

Very well. You make a fine match, when you allow it. I only ask you do not forget that injuries to the heart are not healed so easily as those of the flesh.

[ tim is strong enough to weather all, but — she would not wish him suffer another heartbreak. a wound re-opened again and again will eventually fail to close. ]

My lot is shared by many women. Men do not see me as the queen but as mother, maiden, daughter, wife. We will see if they can learn the truth of me in time.

How many others do you have to keep track of? Can't imagine it gets easier as they get older. If anything...well.

[well he doesn't have kids himself, but he had the strange gift, or curse, of speed-dreaming through the death of one courtesy of the house.]

My experience is nowhere near the same, but this place gave me a look at what it might be like if I didn't get my shit together. Raising one and then having to worry about losing them...must be like moving through the world without a limb.

Thanks. I'd like to think so too, even if it isn't easy. And I don't want that for him either, by the way - trust me. Consider it a work in progress.

Doesn't get much better where I'm from, either. There's a few smart men who know their wives are smarter, but nowhere near enough. And somehow they've all decided to congregate in the goddamn government.

[ she’s not fully satisfied with his answers in the matter of tim, but they’re a start. ]

Then I am glad for you both.

[ hawk can’t know how close he hews to a gaping wound. one of her sons will die and has informed her thusly. another lies abed, the stranger hovering over his ruined body. she has lost a husband and grandson already.

she will not stop losing until there is no one left to mourn. ]

Three. Aegon is my eldest, Helaena after him, and then Daeron is my youngest.

There are others of my husband’s line here now, but none who would protect me or mine. Indeed, my goodbrother Daemon took my grandson from this world mere days before I arrived, and now he breaks fast at the Balfours table.

[christ, and he thought his family matters were complicated. none of this seems like it bodes particularly well though for the state of the manor.]

Daemon. Haven't seen him around. Yet.

He killed your grandson? On what motive?

Listen - if they're here, it sounds like you and yours are going to need some extra protection, or some mediating. If ever there was a place to let sleeping dogs lie, it's here. But that's easier said than done, especially with someone new in the mix who hasn't been through the shit we have.

...Pardon my French, Your Highness. You get what I mean.

My son took his wife’s boy from this world, and long before that, her boy took mine’s eye. Accidents all, until Daemon enacted his revenge.

[ an eye for an eye, a son for a son. she does not believe aemond meant to kill rhaenyra’s boy when their dragons met above the storm. she does believe daemon intended to steal one of her children as recompense and seized upon a babe in his cradle instead. ]

I do, Hawk. I have agreed a truce with Daemon’s wife, my childhood companion the princess Rhaenyra, who is the rival claimant for my son’s throne. I do not wish for any here to be drawn into another land’s war and have sworn my son to peace thusly.

With our numbers as they are, however, they would be fools not to consider a strike. I would be glad to count you as my ally, if only to deter any violence.

Christ, and I thought my family had issues.

[there's no surprise that she's been hard at work securing truces in all this time. frankly, he'd expect nothing less from a queen and an intelligent one at that with such a complicated history. but he refrains from the usual compliments, not wanting them to ring insincere or trifling.]

Look - you've been good to Tim. And me, all things considered. Consider me on your side whenever the next shitshow rolls around. As for the rest - I'll count them as neutral until you decide otherwise.

Thank you, Hawk. Know that my son and I will help you in whatever way we can, just the same.

You and Tim have both been good to me.

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