homosexuals | [UNI AU]

Well - if you give me carte blanche like that, it's gonna be a long list of 'em. Hope you're ready.

Stick to ignoring. Promise me. You only got a taste of it when he tried failing you, but I've seen his vindictive side.

He's like flypaper. I don't care and neither should you.

More interested in seeing if Mary will let you out early for a weekend getaway, actually.

I'll make sure to take detailed notes, Mr. Fuller.

But fine - I'll do my best. We both know he can be pushy and he really wants me to go to this gala.

Early? You mean today? Where are we going? I've got a lot to finish up.

So tell him no. You're busy working. You've got a date. Come on, I know you can come up with something good.

Today, yeah. Was hoping it'd be a surprise, but if it'll get you there...I found another bed and breakfast. This one's in Maryland - it's right on a harbor. Nice views, the beach, sailing - practically get the whole place to ourselves, this time of year.

I'll think of something.

Right now? Hawk, you know I can't just run out like that without some notice. Mary has that huge meeting next week and then there's some video to shoot for her campaign. I can ask her, but I don't feel great about it.

I'll ask. I don't have the kind of freedom you do, you know that.

Well not right this second. I just meant later this afternoon.

If you don't want to do it on a workday then we can wait until tonight. Tomorrow morning if you want to work late.

Just thought it might be nice. But I get it.

No, no I want to go. Sorry.

It's just been a strange day, that's all.

Is it a long drive?

[ why can't we just stay close is what he wants to say, but doesn't. ]

It sounds nice. I'll tell Mary something came up. I can do some work in the car, maybe.

Even more reason she should let you take the day.

It's about an hour if we can beat traffic.

I think you're gonna love it once we get there. I don't want you getting carsick, but there's a balcony you can work off of later too.

Yeah, well, work doesn't always ebb and flow with life. You know that. I don't want to seem like I'm running out the door on her. I really want to make a good impression.

I don't get carsick! If we're going somewhere nice, I want to enjoy it the whole time I'm there with you.

There's other work to be done on the balcony later, anyway.

I guarantee you have. Mary - I mean, that Senator Johnson - she seems like she runs a tight ship and recognizes talent when it's in front of her. You'll be fine.

I'm leaving my grading home too. It can wait.

And by work on the balcony - I'm really hoping you mean giving our neighbors a show in between looking at the stars. It's clearer down there.

She runs a very tight ship, which is why I worry about leaving early. I just really, really don't want to mess this up. Someone here told me the other day that I try too hard, that I need to lay off the gas.

I don't want to go back to how things were, is all.

[ multiple jobs, carefully minding bills and groceries. this job pays, at least in a way that his ramshackle apartment looks a little more like his, and its cabinets can stay stocked. ]

I'll ask, okay? I'll try. I promise.

Either way, I'll go. For the weekend. I can leave my work at home, finish it when we get back, since you are. It'll be fine. And then we can figure out what the balcony will be good for.

I'd like to look at the stars with you, though. If you don't think that's cheesy. I guess it is. Cliché, right? Sorry.

Who told you that? Why didn't you tell me? They're probably threatened by you putting in more work if they're sitting around on their ass.

It's not gonna go back to that. You're doing good work here, Skippy. I'm proud of you.

Listen - don't push it. It's fine, we can go after you get out. Just don't work too late, yeah?

That makes me the cheesy, cliché then. I'm the one who suggested it. Can't promise I won't spend most of the time looking at you, though.

I'm not telling you their name - I know how you are. It's fine, Hawk. I don't care if they're jealous. They can work harder themselves and not have to worry about it.

I won't work too late. I promise. And you know I want to go with you, right? To the bead and breakfast. It's not that I don't.

I want to look at stars beside you, even if you're not really looking at them.

Then you know I'm not about to do anything. I'd just like to hear it. For reference - that's all.

I know. Relax - it's alright. Work comes first, and it should right now for you. We've got plenty of time to make it out there after. So you just keep your head down, get busy, and I'll start packing.

Good. Then we've both got something to look forward to.

I know I said I don't want to hurt my chances at this job, but the reality is I don't want to disappoint you, either. You work so hard and you've helped me so much - I'm grateful, and I want to go on this trip with you. I promise.

Mary said I can leave by 2. Is that enough time? I'm sorry, I didn't want to push, but I asked. Like you asked me to.

You didn't answer my question, you know.

But you're never going to disappoint me, Tim. I didn't do anything but see what was already there - that's all. Remember that.

2 is fine.

And stop apologizing.

What question?

[ yes, he's playing dumb. he knows what hawk means. ]

But I know. It's not just about work - I mean. Disappointing you when you want to take trips or go on dates. They're just so far away sometimes, and I want to do all of them. I want to do anything with you, I just didn't want you to think I wasn't interested. I am. Trust me.

[ he didn't want hawk to take his disinterest personally, to get mad and push him away, to shut down and not offer dates or other affections.

it's so, so stupid how much he wants that man to love him. or at least act like he does. ]

Sorry, I won't
Do we have to go so far away?
Why does it have to be an hour?
Can we do a bed and breakfast here?
Do you think
What is it about me that
I'm so stupid I'm
Do you remember the summer before
Will you ever love

I know, I know. I will. It's a bad habit. I'll get out of here as soon as I can. Promise!

Where should I meet you?

Timothy Laughlin. Give me a name.

I don't want you thinking I'm disappointed. I promise I'm not - and believe me, I get what the job means to you.

It's time away, and that's a luxury we don't always have. But we can try.

[is hawk dancing around the notion that there would be less time wasted if they stayed close? yes. kind of.]

You can come round my place. Or I can pick you up from yours so you don't have to lug a duffel. Tell me what's better.

Connor Smith. He's one of Mary's aides, but it was just a comment in passing. It's not a big deal, honest.

[ tim knows the limits of one hawkins fuller very well at this point, and he tries not to complain. that they're traveling an hour to sit in a bed and breakfast when they could very much the same close to home? ]

If you pick me up then there's no chance anyone will see me walking to yours. Or I can meet you somewhere else?

I think I can sneak out a little early.

Connor Smith. Next time he gives you lip, you might want to ask him if his Dad's still getting knocks on his door from the IRS. Just friendly concern, of course.

I'll pick you up. Don't want you having to lift a finger to haul a suitcase - do you still think I wouldn't send an Uber?

Just say when. I'll be there.

Hawk. I'm never telling you a name again. I won't say that, and you'd better not, either. I'm serious.

If an uber is easier, that's fine. Honest. But maybe I'd really like it if it could be you driving the car this time? I know I'll still have to uber sometimes, I get it but I thought maybe if it's going to be a special weekend, maybe this can be an exception?

I'd really like it.

Sorry.

I know I shouldn't have asked - you'll offer when you can. When it makes sense, I mean. For work and

Optics.

An uber is fine. Makes more sense than you coming out

Well anyone coming here when we're leaving from there. Or wherever.

I can do that - I'll order one to wherever. The alley behind your building? Soonest it can get be there is 2, if I leave soon.

I don't need to say anything. The circles in DC are worse than a bunch of old ladies playing Bingo on Wednesday nights. It's a fucking miracle he got a job around that much funding in the first place.

Tim. I said I'd be picking you up - me. My car. I'm driving. I want as much time as I can get with you, that's the whole point of this, remember?

Are you alright? All this, seems like something's been on your mind.

I just meant...I wouldn't make you walk all that way if you were coming out here. Least I could do, yeah?

Take your time. I'll be there at 1:30.

No, no I’m fine. I’m distracted with work and it’s been a weird day. Trying to hurry up and finish so I can get home in time.

We haven’t had a weekend together in a long time. Especially with Lucy lately.

I really want to be there with you, that’s all. I want to do everything by the book so we can leave and be together as fast as we can. I want to see you smile when you pull up. Don’t want to give you a reason not to. Just crossing my Ts and dotting my Is.

I’m excited, Hawk. Honest. The rest doesn’t matter. Not when I get to see you soon - and for a whole weekend.

I’d walk there and back for it, if that’s what you wanted. Just for the time with you.

Edited 2024-04-03 08:27 (UTC)

[fuck. there it is - the "l" word.]

We haven't. And I'm sorry for that - but look, you know this won't be forever right? I hate doing it. To you, christ, even to her - sometimes it doesn't feel worth it.

But this weekend is all about us. Going somewhere that no one knows or cares what our names are, what we do for a living, or why we're only checking into a room with a single bed.

I never want you to have to do any of that. It kills me sometimes, but it's necessary. Just have to keep reminding ourselves it's temporary.

And some day - we won't have to do a goddamn thing by the books. Fuck wherever we want, hold hands when we feel like it, go to dinner anywhere in DC.

[ temporary. it's temporary. that's what he tells himself over and over, but none of it feels temporary anymore. ]

I know you do - I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I know all of this is temporary. It's worth it if you get your tenure, I suppose. If that's what it takes.

But we have the weekend to do all of those things - fuck where we want, hold hands, go to dinner. No one will know the difference there. I'd do whatever you asked me to do if it meant time together, that's all.

That's all I want.

[ but tim sits at his desk with his phone and finds himself crying, strangely. he's thankful for the cubicle walls that hide him from the office. ]

Well. Anyway.

It's all temporary. I know that. I promise.

[UNI AU]

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